Geelong dad Bill Cockram felt ostracised by mums at Ceres primary school

Inverleigh dad Bill Cockram is calling for parents to be kinder in the schoolyard, after he felt an “outsider” in a difficult time.

A Geelong dad says school pick-ups have taken him right back to the schoolyard – after he found himself being gossiped about, “picked on” and left out by a tight-knit group of mums.

Inverleigh dad Bill Cockram said in 2022, after the breakdown of his marriage, he started doing school pick-ups at Ceres Primary School for the first time in five years, only to be faced with parental cliques and gossip.

“It was a challenging time for me and for my kids already, and there was literally the opposite of any support for us from parents,” he said.

“There was a stigma, everyone was staring at me, they’d be looking at you and then turn and whisper, talking about you and gathering in their groups.

“No one said, ‘do you need help with the kids?’”

Bill Cockram says school pick-ups have taken him right back to the schoolyard after he found himself being the subject of gossip. Picture: Alan Barber

Feeling isolated, Mr Cockram said he was thankful for one mum who “set herself apart” and started to say hello to him at Friday school assembly.

The small gesture made him feel a part of the school community again.

“She made me feel like I was absolutely a human being,” he said.

“If it wasn’t for her I’d be a complete leper.

“But others still cross the road when they see me coming.”

According to a 2024 Geelong Preventative Health Survey, loneliness is more common in single-parent families with 57 per cent considered lonely.

Mr Cockram said it wasn’t isolated to one school.

His older children attended Geelong College where “there were defined groups among parents,” he said.

“Like how in high school you almost had to be allowed to join the group.”

A recent global Deakin University study found the mental health of dads was linked to poor developmental outcomes in children.

The study showed a father’s mental health could also impact their children’s physical health outcomes, such as body weight, sleep and eating patterns.

He said there was “nothing wrong” with people chatting, and often dads didn’t involve themselves enough, but it was difficult when someone was already going through a tough time.

Bill Cockram says the school-run can be a time of isolation and social awkwardness. Picture: Alan Barber

“When things are challenging, the last thing you want is to be cast aside … it’s when you need support,” he said.

Mr Cockram said these were the times parents needed to be reminded to practise what they preached to their children.

“If you see someone left out, say hello,” he said.

“If there are parents happy and involved at school pick-ups, when they see someone on their own they should go over, say ‘hey’ like that mother did with me.

“Just like the kids are taught to do in the playground.”

Originally published as Geelong dad Bill Cockram felt ostracised by mums at Ceres primary school