Bravehearts founder Hetty Johnston shares personal insight into toll of waging war against child sexual assault

HETTY Johnston has finally cracked after two decades on the frontline of the war against child sexual assault — and can’t explain why.

Bravehearts founder Hetty Johnston. Photo: Steve Holland

HETTY Johnston has finally cracked.

After two decades on the frontline of the war against child sexual assault and having heard thousands of the kind of stories that would have wrecked most of us on day one, the Bravehearts founder and executive chair is feeling the strain — and can’t explain why.

“After 20 years, I don’t hear much that distresses me,” says Johnston, who has been applauded and attacked in equal measure for raging against governments, institutions and individuals when it comes to one of society’s most heinous crimes.

“I’ve always been able to keep myself sane but this persistence around complaints against the family law system has been so ugly and distressing that it has rocked me. That hasn’t happened before.

Hetty Johnson speaks at a Walk 4 William event to mark the one-year anniversary of the disappearance of three-year-old William Tyrell from his grandmother’s NSW home. Photo: Nathan Edwards

“I don’t know if it’s because I’m older but the stories I’m hearing now are just so unbelievably wrong. Even I’m saying ‘How can that happen’ and it’s happening every day.”

As Johnston continues a passionate pursuit of a Royal Commission into a family law system she describes as “toxic, unaccountable and non-transparent”, the 58-year-old has shared an intimate insight into her life away from the public arena including:

— Why she rarely tells her husband about her day;

— The reason she’s stopped putting her parents second; and

— Why it’s pointless asking how long she’ll keep doing what she does.

“I can see where Australia needs to be to be the safest place in the world to raise a child in terms of sexual assault,” she says.

“I can see it, smell it, touch it. I know it’s real and I’m not going to stop until we have it.”

Hetty Johnston speaks with media outside the Brisbane Supreme Court after Brett Peter Cowan was found guilty of the murder of Daniel Morcombe. Photo: Liam Kidston

THE MOTIVATION

Bravehearts was born because of a revelation that rocked Johnston — and her family — to the core.

In the mid-1990s, her then seven-year-old daughter revealed that her paternal grandfather (Johnston’s father-in-law) had sexually assaulted her and other members of the family. He went to jail, she received the care she needed and her mother had a fire light within her.

“We had the resources to find help for her but what about families who didn’t?” said Johnston, a former state Democrats leader. “There was nothing for those kids. No services. They didn’t exist.”

They do now, with Bravehearts’ Arundel HQ home to several rooms where counsellors do their best to heal little souls touched by evil and the parents and carers whose hearts break for them.

It is crucial work but often lost amid the headline-grabbing, table-thumping advocacy role of its political savvy leader.

Then prime minister Tony Abbott meets with Hetty Johnson at Bravehearts’ Arundel base. Photo: Tim Marsden

Johnston’s latest battle is for a Royal Commission into the family law system, the maelstrom of courts, lawyers, experts and police that she says often sees children being ordered to live or have contact with sex offenders or abusive parents because they are unable to be found guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

“I’m not a person who cries — my body won’t allow it — but some of these stories do bring me to tears and I do feel the stress at the moment,” she says.

How will she know when it’s all too much?

“There’s enough people around here (at Bravehearts) who watch me like a hawk … I’m surrounded by psychologists here.

“I’m actually very aware of my limit. Sometimes I’ll just work from home for a couple of days if it gets too much.”

Hetty Johnston has been a support for countless families since founding Bravehearts two decades ago. Photo: Nathan Edwards

FAMILY AFFAIRS

That home is a country retreat perched near the northern edge of the city, an oasis from her day job and one she shares with the man who “keeps me sane”.

“We always get great laughs out of Ian,” she says of her husband, a self-employed tradie who supports his wife to the hilt without wanting to know all she knows.

“I try not to say too much because it really upsets him. He hasn’t got the same hard, crusted shell I have so we try to talk about other things when I’m at home.

“He doesn’t get in the trenches with me. He couldn’t cope. He just wouldn’t.”

Along with their two daughters, the other most important people in Johnston’s life are her parents, who are also the reason she walked away from a brief tilt at the Logan mayoralty in late 2015.

Hetty Johnston had a brief tilt at the Logan mayoralty before withdrawing from the campaign: “It’s my parents’ time to come first.” Photo: John Gass

“Mum had a bad fall and isn’t in a good way,” she says of her 86-year-old mother.

“I don’t do anything in half measures and I knew if there was a council meeting and my mum wasn’t well, I wouldn’t be there and you can’t do that as a mayor.

“My parents have come second right through this thing and I just had an awakening when she fell. It’s their time to come first. Before the campaign really started, I thought ‘Stuff it, it’s their time’.”

And when will it be her time?

“I think I’ve got another good 10 years of going hard but I’ll never retire,” she says before laughing. “I can’t because I’d go nuts. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself.”

***

BRAVE WORDS

The family law system

I challenge any of your readers to look into the eyes of the children they love and imagine them disclosing something terrible has happened but you have to send them back to someone clearly dangerous because the police say it won't pass the test of beyond reasonable doubt ... the system only looks at statutory intervention when it’s neglect or physical abuse. It’s like sexual assault is a no-go zone.

Hetty Johnston puts a poster of missing child William Tyrell in the window of a shop. Photo: Nathan Edwards

Warning signs

How did I have two kids and not get warned that one in five children is sexually assaulted? Where was that in my little bag of goodies when I left the hospital? We learned about brushing their teeth and the importance of immunisation, but no one said these are the signs that your child may have been abused. No one planted that seed.

The cut and thrust

I don’t want to upset people but it won’t stop me. I’m not going to crawl into a corner because people say nasty things about me … I know I’ve upset governments, churches, the courts and all the associated people, but it’s not personal. It’s an attack on the system.

Meeting with the PM

I’m very privileged because he is a busy man. He’s running a country but he took time out to sit with me … if you’ve got 40 minutes with the nation’s leader, you want to make every nanosecond count. It was straight into it and he did hear us. Whether he can respond the way we want, time will tell.

Coping

I’ve always been able to walk a tightrope and there is a fine line to falling off and going into anxiety and depression, but my husband is very good at picking it. He’ll get quite cranky if I’m persistently tired or grumpy. He judges when it’s time for me to cut back. He won’t let anything happen to me.