He’s not drunk and of all the men we’ll meet at this Coomera pub, he’s the most personable. He’s friendly, he’s eloquent and it’s only when you read his words on paper the next day that you feel guilty that you sort of enjoyed his company.

“I felt like that with my last partner,” the 45-year-old says when asked about this week’s devastating murder-suicide at Pimpama.

“I got out before it got that bad. I mean not to that extent (nervous laugh) but I can see how things can escalate.”

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE VICTIM JUMPED FROM A MOVING CAR TO HER DEATH

Two days after Teresa Bradford was murdered by her husband in front of her children less than 10km up the M1, the Bulletin has come in search of everyday men to discuss domestic violence.

To talk about the perpetrators and victims, the courts and police, the causes and solutions, and the fact that more than one AVO is broken in the northern region of the Gold Coast every day.

“I’ve actually got an AVO on me at the moment,” confesses Dave, who requests anonymity for obvious reasons. “That’s why I moved here from Brisbane. It was a bit of a horrible situation.

“I got the AVO because of text messages. I got a bit drunk one night and was like ‘Well, if you love me you’d come see me now and if you don’t, I’ll come and kill you’. It was just texting and I would never have followed it up but she didn’t know that.

“It was a lesson for me.”

The thing that’s scary about Dave is how non-threatening he is.

There are a few dozen men sitting in the pub’s bars, restaurants and pokie rooms and plenty are the type you wouldn’t dare wander up to and ask “Any chance you’d like to talk about men bashing women”’.

BONNIE MOBBS HONOURS MEMORY OF GOLD COAST DAUGHTER SHELSEA SCHILLING AT RED ROSE RALLY

Not Dave though. He’s no hipster but you wouldn’t pick him to say this.

“Some girls actually ask for it,” he says. “There are some diseases where women want to be treated badly.”

Really? What about the men who throw the punches?

“I think most guys want to be loved. We want someone to adore us and when that breaks down, you get angry. You want that person back in your life and when they’re not reciprocating, you get angry and that’s when you have to realise the relationship’s over.”

Like you did after the AVO?

“Her taking out the AVO was disloyalty to a point,” he says. “She shouldn’t have done that.

“I did have thoughts of going over to her house but I don’t want to go to jail. I’ve always been a thinker. If I do this, what’s going to happen next?

“The girl I had the text messages with loved me to death but it’s so (expletive) hard … that love you-hate you thing drove me crazy. I thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t think straight. I had depression and I had to pick myself up.”

Dave pauses. He ponders his thoughts. He then tells a story he can’t take back.

“Actually, we had a thing on New Year’s Eve. That was a big one. She fell asleep and I actually did crack the shits and thought ‘Everyone else is having sex and you’ve fallen asleep’ and I did it.

“I grabbed her and held her down and put my (penis) in her face and said ‘Suck it, you (expletive)’ and she said ‘All right, I will’ and I thought ‘No, this is wrong’ and I walked away.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever done that and it was a real eye-opener for me. I don’t even want to say I did it. I feel bad.”

Elsewhere in the pub are other male tales of domestic violence.

The 38-year-old who spoke up when he suspected friends had clashed: “You just have to speak to the hubby and wife so they know we know what happened.”

The 23-year-old who grew up watching his mother in violent relationships: “I saw it all the way through … but (the public) doesn’t hear what’s happening in a home until a woman is killed.”

Then there’s Dave, the man with an AVO in one pocket and a phone in the other.

“She’s actually going to call me later,” he says of the woman he forced himself on as she slept. “I’ve split it off but she still wants a relationship.”

Bit tricky with an AVO, hey?

“Well, the AVO has been altered so she can call me and I can call her. I just can’t go around to her house.”