Yes, becoming a mother is priceless - but it's also costing you $2 million

A recent report reveals that having a baby can cost mums $2M over their lifetime, and now I want to crawl into a ball and cry.

I am so grateful for the miracle of having a child that even the thought of hearing parents regret it is upsetting. Source: iStock

I have always known about the gender pay discrepancies when it came to men and women, but I felt like it was more of an abstract concept and one I hadn’t dealt with personally- or so I thought.

I recently read a report on Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s “10-year-plan to unleash the full capacity and contribution of women to the Australian economy,” and while there is a plan in place, I can’t help but feel, well, ripped off.

I’ve only recently returned to permanent work after having a baby ten months ago, and as much as I’d love to say it’s because I was eager to return to the workplace, that would be a lie.

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When the paid workday ends, the unpaid work gets started. Source: iStock

With our mortgage fixed until March next year and interest rate rises as predictable as Britney Spears’ Instagram reels (for those who don’t follow, it’s TOTALLY unpredictable), sustaining a family on one income just doesn’t cut it anymore.

I was incredibly fortunate to find a job that works around my life and that I really enjoy (winning!), but after reading these recent figures, I can’t help but still feel a sense of defeat.

According to the report, we lose out on $2 million in earnings compared to men because we decided to have a baby.

We also can expect to have our earnings reduced by 55% during the first five years of our little one’s life, whereas new dads usually don’t experience any change.

Nicknamed the “motherhood penalty”, it feels like an inevitable spiral we mums won’t even be able to escape.

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“It’s assumed we take the pay cut”

It seems I’m not alone in these feelings, with many women feeling the strain.

Chelsee shared her experience as a mum to three-year-old Sonny, saying there’s an assumption about mums from the get-go. 

“I feel it is always assumed that we as the mums (default parent) are the ones that just need to take the ‘pay cut’,” she told me. 

“We are the ones who work part-time but work full-time as a mum, and it will take more than $2 million to pay for our unpaid work. 

“It’s assumed that because we take the pay cut, our significant other is the one that pays for our unpaid work and holds the fort down while we run the family. 

“It’s a backwards way of trying to push us forward.”

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Nicknamed the “motherhood penalty”, it feels like an inevitable spiral we mums won’t even be able to escape. Source: iStock

What about childcare?

Isabelle runs her own hairdressing salon and stepped away from her business to be a mum to nine-month-old Amalia. Isabelle told Kidspot she believes men and women will never be equal.

“When you become a mother, that’s your full-time job, regardless of anything else.

“It’s unfair women are expected to pause their incomes to raise a child,” she shared. 

“But then you get mum guilt if you want to put them in daycare.”

On top of finding paid work that doesn’t conflict with home life too much, we also contend with the insane childcare costs and subsidies. 

I’m currently looking at putting my daughter on waiting lists for childcare next year, and I am gobsmacked at the daily rates some of these centres charge.

It leaves me questioning whether sending her to childcare is a wise financial decision.

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What does retirement look like?

I wouldn’t say I’m overly financially savvy, but I have read The Barefoot Investor and implemented his methods so that counts for something, right?

Growing up in the Spice Girls’ girl power and Destiny’s Child’s Independent Woman era, relying on my husband’s super wasn’t the financial plan I wanted to subscribe to. 

So, when I found out I was pregnant, I decided to sacrifice five per cent of my fortnightly pay into my super as I knew I wouldn’t be earning any for the duration of my unpaid maternity leave. 

Although this is absolute peanuts in the long term, it felt like a way I could take control of what otherwise would be a scary realisation.

I'm terrible at maths, but it doesn't take a genius to see the numbers don't add up. Source: iStock

What do dads think about all this?

Recent research has revealed millennial dads are spending, on average, 300% more time with their children than past generations.

Modern fathers are increasingly motivated to be more supportive partners to the mothers of their children. 

They are also taking on additional responsibilities within the household and actively engaging with their kids.

I shared the above insights with my husband and asked what he thought.

“I think it’s good for women to go back to work if they want to,” he told me. “There’s so much research supporting the benefits of having women in the workplace, and it should be made easier for them.”

“I think, at the very least, maternity leave should be your full salary for at least 12 months, split between the government and employer. And I think I should be given more paternity leave, too!”

Ryan, who is a father of one, added, “It's sad to think some mums would feel they aren't contributing financially even though they do the hardest role.

“Mums are raising our kids and our future, so there should definitely be more financial support. It's a huge financial setback.”

With the implementation of The Women's Economic Equality Taskforce, whose sole purpose is to get women what they rightly deserve, and an upcoming generation of dads who want to be involved, let’s hope we can look back at this article nostalgically soon.

Originally published as Yes, becoming a mother is priceless - but it's also costing you $2 million