‘Why I paid to lose my virginity at 43’

A health scare at 43 made Melanie Hawkes realise life was too short to be a virgin – so she found male escort, Chayse.

Melanie Hawkes paid to lose her virginity at 43. Picture: Supplied

When a health scare made Melanie Hawkes, 43, from Perth, WA, realise she’d been missing out on sex, she decided to make up for lost time. She tells her story in her own words...

I winced in pain as my support worker, Tracy*, lowered me into the bath.

“Is your neck still hurting?” she asked.

“Annoyingly so,” I replied.

It was 2022 and I’d just had Covid.

At night, to help me breathe, I had to sleep upright, causing my neck to strain.

But that had been the least of my problems. Due to my condition, I’d been sure I was about to die.

At age two, I’d been diagnosed with transverse myelitis – a disorder caused by inflammation of the spinal cord, due to an infection. Until then, I’d been walking and talking like any other toddler.

Melanie Hawkes was diagnosed with transverse myelitis as a very young child. Picture: Supplied

Then one day, I woke up and started stumbling like I was drunk. My parents rushed me to hospital, but my legs became paralysed and the movement in my arms was limited.

Some people fully recover from transverse myelitis but I didn’t.

I got my first wheelchair at three and had been in one ever since. I also suffered occasional pain and often had issues with my breathing.

Melanie Hawkes got her first wheelchair when she was three. Picture: Supplied

It meant I relied on support workers, like Tracy to help me with everyday tasks.

Now, as I relaxed into the warm water, Tracy washed me down.

“Shall I give you a massage to help ease the pain?” she suggested.

“If you don’t mind,” I replied.

She began to massage my neck and back and I loved the feel of her soft hands on my skin.

“That’s amazing,” I told her.

Although it was just a massage, it was the first time I’d been touched so intimately by anyone.

Later, Tracy helped me into bed.

“Have you ever thought about hiring a disability sex worker?” she asked me. “They’re out there.”

I raised my eyebrows.

“How do you know?” I asked.

“I used to be one,” she said.

Her confession stunned me.

“It’s something to consider,” she said.

Melanie had a bout of Covid in 2022 that left her in severe pain. Picture: Supplied

Next day, I was working from home and it was all I could think about. At 43, I’d never had a sexual experience. Growing up, the only time sex had been mentioned was when my parents warned my three brothers not to get a girl pregnant before marriage. It wasn’t like I could sneak out, so they weren’t worried about me.

I’d liked a guy in uni, but after he was teased about having feelings for me, he kept his distance. After that, I assumed my dream of having a partner someday wouldn’t happen, so I busied myself with work and other commitments.

But experiencing Covid made me realise life was too short. Tracy had lit a fire in me, and it was still burning.

Melanie Hawkes realised that life was too short. Picture: Supplied

Feeling a thrill, I searched for sex workers online and found an independent escort website.

I was disappointed most of the men didn’t show their faces.

If I was paying good money – around $400 an hour, depending on the experience – I wanted to know what I’d be getting.

Suddenly, I landed on a picture of a guy called, Chayse. Unlike the others, his face was on display – and he was gorgeous! His toothy white smile sent shockwaves through my body. And he’d had experience with disabled clients, which was a plus. I wanted my first experience to go as smoothly as possible.

I sent Chayse a message expressing interest and 10 minutes later, my phone rang. My body tensed. ‘What have I gotten myself into?’ I thought.

Taking a deep breath, I picked up.

“Melanie, it’s Chayse,” the voice said.

He sounded so upbeat and friendly, I instantly felt at ease. We chatted for a while, getting to know each other.

“Why don’t we start off with a two-hour erotic massage?” Chayse suggested. “We can build up from there.”

“Sounds good,” I said excitedly.

I booked an appointment at his house for a month’s time, but days later, I moved it forward, too eager to wait.

When I told Tracy, she was overjoyed.

“Will you take me?” I asked. “Since you got me into this?”

“Of course,” she said.

Melanie Hawkes met male escort Chayse after finding him online. Picture: Supplied

On the day, I was full of beans. Tracy helped me into some sexy underwear I’d bought online, before driving me over.

When Chayse opened the door, my heart did a backflip. He was just as handsome in real life.

“Come on in,” he beamed.

Tracy helped me onto the massage table then left us to it. The two hours flew by and when I left, I was tingling.

Two weeks later, we met again at my house, as it was better equipped for my needs. We were together for three exhilarating hours and the next morning my whole body was aching.

Melanie Hawkes with her escort Chayse. Picture: Supplied

Chayse had bent me into so many different positions, but they’d all felt so good at the time.

Now, I’m seeing Chayse regularly. He’s opened me up to a world I’d been missing for so long, and I’m loving every minute.

I want him to teach me everything, so I know what I do and don’t like. My long-term goal is to find a partner. Before now, I hadn’t had the confidence to put myself out there.

I know some people will judge me, but that’s easy if you don’t have a disability. You don’t know what it’s like.

People who matter to me are supportive and this is the happiest I’ve ever been.

My only regret is not doing it sooner. I’m speaking out now, so people with disabilities know there are options for intimacy.

There are charities, like Touching Base, to help you.

We deserve to feel loved and desired, like anyone else.

This article originally appeared in Take 5 magazine and has been republished here with permission

*Tracy’s name has been changed

Originally published as ‘Why I paid to lose my virginity at 43’