Why 'fear of switching off' is the new 'fear of missing out'

It’s time to show your phone who’s boss

Forget FOMO, our anxieties around isolation have taken a whole new form. Image: iStock

In today’s tech-fuelled world of connection, more and more people are developing a fear of switching off (FOSO). Here’s how this newfound anxiety can impact your life according to an expert, and what you can do to get it in check.  

Anyone with a smartphone in this day and age is more than familiar with the constant hum of notifications. In the palm of our hand, sits a Mecca of digital content, from a categorised record of our day-to-day movements and expenses to every trail of social interaction we have. 

The way we’ve socialised has drastically changed, so naturally, the way we feel connected (or disconnected) has too. In part, the world’s overwhelming shift to online platforms and spaces has a lot to do with that nasty pandemic that we’re all still recovering from. For up to two years, most people were forced to switch up their routines entirely: working, eating, exercising and socialising from home. Every interaction we had was through a screen, from meetings and appointments to family weddings and Christmas dinners. 

But pandemic or no pandemic, the world has been heading in a contactless, tech-based direction for a while. We live in a time like no other, where almost anything is achievable with the press of a button, from almost any corner of the globe. But while having our entire lives stored on our devices is nothing if not an immense demonstration of human intelligence and innovation, it brings about a whole new myriad of issues and anxieties.

So why is the concept of 'switching off' so daunting to some people? Psychologist Carly Dober dives into the modern phenomenon of FOSO.

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Is ‘switching off’ the new ‘missing out’? 

With our online habits and presence largely overtaking real-life interactions, ‘switching off’ our group chat is akin to the classic Irish exit from a party. But according to Dober, there’s more fuelling our growing FOSO than being worried about what we might miss out on. 

“Our phones have become such an integral part of our lives that the routine of ‘always being on and available’ is the norm for many people across different industries,” says Dober, adding that dependency on our phones, like any habit, becomes increasing more difficult to shake the longer we succumb to it. 

“If you’re working in a field where the expectation is that you never switch off then this can cause stress about doing so,” Dober explains.

FOSO can leave you in a heightened state of stress or anxiety which can reek havoc on your physical and mental health. Image: iStock

Why FOSO is a much bigger problem

When we’re unable to detach ourselves from our screens, whether it be due to work obligations, interest in the news cycle, or the ever-pinging group chat, the anxiety and stress caused can seep into so many other areas of our lives. 

“[FOSO] can impact our ability to remain present in conversations and in spending quality time with people, leading people around us to feel that they are not important or we are not interested in them,” Dober says. “It can lead to resentment if people in our lives perceive our phones and the outside world as being more important than they are.”

Dober adds that your relationship with loved ones can ultimately be severed, causing isolation and sadness for both parties. “It can also lead to a decreased capacity to function, clean our homes or parent if we lose a lot more time using technology than we intend to.” 

While you might be telling yourself your tech habits and iPhone dependency is temporary, an unfortunate byproduct of your current job until you work your way up the corporate ladder, Dober says even a little bit of FOSO could contribute to some long-term mental health issues. 

“It can either trigger new or exacerbate existing mental health conditions, impact sleep, make us feel like we are constantly frazzled or rushing, and impact our social and emotional well-being by making us feel like we are dependent on our devices while also impacting our relationships,” the explains the psychologist.

Starting small, such as switching off your phone to properly engage in a family dinner, is a great way to start retraining your brain. Image: iStock.

How do we get our FOSO in check?

As impossible as it may seem to decrease your screen time, there are some helpful boundaries we can all set to enforce some healthier habits and foster a better work-life balance. 

“I encourage people to firstly visualise how much time they would ideally like to spend on their devices if they could create their dream week, then evaluate how much time you actually spend using your devices, the final number might actually shock you,” says Dober, who explains this evaluation technique is not used to blame or shame her clients, but rather demonstrate how costly to our time such habits can be without adequately serving us. 

The psychologist then recommends people begin to design manageable boundaries for some aspects of their tech use. “Some people turn their phones off for an hour so they can be engaged fully with their family at dinner or with friends going for a walk together, but ensure it is something that provides you with the opportunity to engage fully with the things that matter to you,” Dober says. 

“Understand that there might be a little bit of anxiety or stress as you are changing a habit, and it can take some time before it starts to feel natural,” she adds. “I also encourage people to share how they are trying to build these new habits with their friends, family and loved ones because these social supports will be able to hold you accountable in a gentle and kind way.” 

Originally published as Why 'fear of switching off' is the new 'fear of missing out'