‘We don’t know if it’s two weeks or two months of life left’: Dr Tim Proudman on a life well lived

For almost 30 years, Dr Tim Proudman has done extraordinary things for other people. But perhaps his most inspiring accomplishment is living a life with “no regrets”.

‘A wonderful life’: Tim Proudman is living on borrowed time. Pictured here with his children Charlotte, Will and Bec, with wife Susanna. Picture: Supplied

Among the 50,023 people at Adelaide Oval on Saturday night was a man watching what was almost certainly his final Showdown.

His name is Tim Proudman. Renowned plastic surgeon, husband, father of three and passionate Crows supporter.

Tim is living on borrowed time. On November 5, 2021, he was diagnosed with a deadly brain tumour.

At a dinner with friends, he’d struggled to tell a story he knew well.

The MRI showed a huge, white mass. A glioblastoma.

I’ve often wondered if it’s worse for doctors who become seriously ill because they know exactly what they’re in for.

Tim and his wife Susanna, a professor and director of rheumatology at the Royal Adelaide, knew immediately how devastating the news was. Two of their children are also doctors.

Tim and his wife Susanna. Picture: Supplied

Bec Proudman and her father Tim are both doctors. Picture: Supplied

“It’s like hearing the words pancreatic cancer,” Tim says.

“Most of us, if you’ve got what I’ve got, last about a year or so.”

Tim’s already beaten the odds by surviving for 18 months – but he’s deteriorating and rapidly losing his ability to speak.

His field of vision is narrowing and his memory is fading fast.

“We don’t know if it’s two weeks or two months of life left,” he says.

So, why is Tim’s story worth telling?

Because despite leading a privileged life, this man has done extraordinary things for other people throughout his almost 30-year career.

He’s improved the lives of thousands of South Australians through his work as a plastic and reconstructive surgeon, combining passionate patient care with exceptional surgical skill.

An avid teacher, he’s travelled to remote Indigenous communities in the NT to share his knowledge.

He is an outstanding South Australian, awarded a Member of the Order of Australia earlier this year for his work here and in countries that desperately need help.

His list of accomplishments, including head of the plastic and reconstructive surgery unit at Queen Elizabeth and Women’s and Children’s hospitals, would fill this entire page.

For eight years he’s been volunteering in Bhutan, a small Himalayan country that boasts the highest gross domestic happiness but sees some horrific injuries to its people.

Black bear attacks on locals are common. The bear goes for the face, ripping out a nose or lip, leaving a gaping hole.

Tim has performed countless surgeries on those who survived attacks, along with a number of burns patients.

Dr Tim Proudman operates in Bhutan. Picture: Supplied

Tim Proudman in Bhutan. Picture: Supplied

With no power, the Bhutanese use open fires and kerosene stoves to do their cooking and it results in serious injuries, especially to children.

“We repair bits, manoeuvre things around, transfer skin from one place to another – it’s all part of the challenge of surgery,” Tim says.

“We had to sew up the face of young woman who lost her nose and two-thirds of her upper lip.

“It’s like going back to where plastic surgery began during World War I, where you’ve got to find a way to reconstruct something to as close as where it was.”

The country has no plastic surgery specialists, but a young Bhutanese general surgeon, Dr Sonam Jamtsho, is training at the Queen Elizabeth right now to become the country’s first.

Tim has been mentoring him in recent years, conducting more than 80 online lectures throughout the pandemic.

In February the Proudmans, while coming to terms with Tim’s grim diagnosis, hosted an event at their home raising $100,000 for Interplast, a charity that sends medical teams to 17 countries across the Asia Pacific including Bhutan. The event was called Operation Happiness.

In April the team returned, without Tim. It was a difficult time for him. He knows he won’t get back there now but is determined to help Bhutan, and the young trainees, in any way he can.

Leading orthopaedic surgeon Richard Clarnette has been a close friend and colleague of Tim’s for more than 40 years.

He says Tim is an inspiration to so many, both professionally and personally.

“He’s devoted himself to registrar teaching and training and has worked tirelessly to help train local surgeons and develop his specialty in Bhutan,” Richard says.

“He’s a devoted family man who also loves spending time with his mates, fishing and golfing and travelling.

“His recent illness has been devastating but he has tackled it with an unbelievably positive attitude. He is a man with a rare combination of extreme talent, incredible courage, humility and kindness.”

Courage is key here. Where do people like Tim find it in their darkest days, when life isn’t fair?

Last Monday, popular Channel 9 newsreader Will McDonald marked three years since being diagnosed with advanced aggressive prostate cancer.

Since then, he’s been on a mission titled Operation IronWill.

After hundreds of hours of training, battling multiple injuries, he recently completed an Ironman event in Cairns – a 3.8km swim, 180km bike ride and a 42.2km run. Exhausted even thinking about it? Me too.

His project’s raised $25,000 for the Prostate Cancer Foundation and inspired thousands of people along the way.

Will lives by the motto that while pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. He says cancer will never define him, but he hopes his determination to live a wonderful life, will.

He quotes Austrian poet and author Rainer Maria Rilke.

“Let everything happen to you. Beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Will has courage in spades.

Tim Proudman is not a natural born runner but he discovered marathons 12 years ago.

He’s ticked off seven adventure marathons on seven continents, including the Big Five Marathon on the savannas of South Africa.

Incredibly, he’s completed two of them after his brain tumour diagnosis, including one in Antarctica, at -10C.

It’s an unbelievable achievement.

Why would he push himself to do it? Susanna explains.

“He won’t give up. He gets in his head ‘I have to do this, don’t waste time’,” she says.

Tim and Susanna have not wasted a second since November 5, 2021.

This kind and clever man, used to working from a surgery list, has sadly replaced it with a bucket list.

Tim Proudman has been living his bucket list since his diagnosis. Picture: Supplied

A wedding in Majorca, a visit to friends in the UK, the Whitsundays with their three children and partners and a Kimberley cruise with friends and family, including Tim’s now 95-year-old mother Esme.

The Proudmans have been dealt a cruel hand but amid the dark clouds they’ve found blue sky.

As I sat at their kitchen table last week, I witnessed the beauty that comes with pain and fear.

Tim struggled to find the words he wanted to say, but with good humour. Susanna happily filled in the gaps and finished his sentences.

“In some ways we’re very lucky,” Susanna says.

“It’s been a paradoxical joy to have a year and a half to be together.

“Tim has never blamed anybody or played the pity card.

“It’s brought us closer together. We went from these incredibly busy lives to spending so much more time together and enjoying each other’s company so much more.”

As Susanna speaks, Tim’s smiling but the tears are rolling down his face.

“It’s been quite incredible to see how he has continued to move forward,” she says.

“He’s always thinking ahead, he’s been planning things for the children, setting everything up, thinking about everybody else.”

Their children – Bec, 30, Charlotte, 27, and Will, 23, gathered at the family home last weekend.

They know that every minute now is precious.

They are without a doubt Tim’s greatest achievements and amid the emotion, he struggles to talk about them.

But he’s grateful they are young adults who’ve known his love and his lessons.

He’s shown them not to wait for things to happen.

“Look for the opportunities in life, take opportunities and make new ones,” he says.

When the family visited the Kimberley last year, Tim had a series of vivid dreams.

He dreamt that he was playing footy for North Adelaide, the team he loved as a boy. The game was at Adelaide Oval.

Barrie Robran was on his side and that was reassuring. Night after night he returned to the dream, adding members to build his team. They included greats of the game, his closest friends and supporters including his late father Bill and his son Will. The other team was entirely made up of dementors, miserable grey creatures draining everyone of happiness and hope.

The dream symbolised Tim’s real-life battle. At the age of 61, it’s one he’s ready to face.

And just like his beloved Crows showed us on Saturday night, he knows you don’t have to go all the way to experience pure joy.

“I have no regrets,” he says. “It’s been a wonderful life.”

Originally published as ‘We don’t know if it’s two weeks or two months of life left’: Dr Tim Proudman on a life well lived