It's not quite the Emerald City but Lindsay Saunders finds Melbourne's Crown Towers is almost as much of a thing of fantasy

THERE'S a choice one faces with a stay at Crown - do you want to venture out into the real world or live the Crown dream?

Crown Towers in Melbourne.

WE still don't know who he was, but he was either someone 'important' … or a con man.

The chap in question was holding forth in the Crown Towers' Crystal Club with a voice that not only encouraged eavesdropping but made it impossible not to. And it was, one way or another, all about money. And self-importance. About how he was going to spend X hundred thousand on advertising for the concert series by (someone we won't name but our man had the act's name wrong three times before he was corrected by whoever it was he was talking at). About how he was always looked after wherever he went, with butlers and how he could get up at 3am and have a bath drawn for him. Blah, blah, blah.

It was very entertaining ...

Crown Towers in Melbourne

We'd lobbed in to Melbourne a few hours earlier and ascended to the said Crystal Club to check in to our room, which is something of an understatement as this 'room' had more of its namesake than an aircraft hangar, albeit with infinitely more atmosphere. Oh, and furniture.

The two-bedroom suite that was to be home for the stay included a master bedroom with tennis court sized bed, walk-in robe and bathroom with huge tub (and its own TV), shower, WC and all the rest.

Crown Towers in Melbourne

The second bedroom had two king singles and a mirror image of the master bathroom¬ - including another bath TV. Genius idea that.

In between the two bedrooms was a dining room, with seating for six, a bar area with two fridges, a wide range of glassware plus other such needs and a desk for the workaholics, then a sizeable lounge room with two day beds and two chairs facing the floor-to-ceiling windows and massive TV, bringing the suite's TV total to five, a new record for us.

Crown Towers in Melbourne

Herself took a photo of me in the second bedroom's doorway from the master bedroom. I appear as a bearded dot. We took to texting locations when we lost sight of one another. A 'you are here' map seemed like a good idea. Well, maybe not, but this was without a doubt a generously sized suite.

There's a choice one faces with a stay at Crown, regardless of which hotel you are sleeping in (for the record there's three - and two spas) - do you want to venture out into the real world or live the Crown dream?

Because, gentle reader, if you are so inclined, you don't have to leave. Ever. With umpteen restaurants, any number of entertainment options and, of course, a gaming floor for those so inclined, the Crown is a destination in itself, albeit, to us anyway, a surreal one.

We're not casino people per se, but it's always interesting to venture into a different world and dip one's toe in. A wander around the complex reinforced just how huge the joint is - and how many people do indeed like to spend a lot of time and, one would imagine, a reasonable amount of money, on the gaming floor. Mind you, the people watching opportunity is priceless too.

Crown Towers in Melbourne.

Regardless, it was pretty cool to ascend the Crown's grand staircase you've see on TV for The Brownlows and the Logies, etc … despite a distinct lack of paparazzo.

After those explorations we opted for further adventures in the city itself, and during that afternoon and the next day, strolled through the National Gallery of Victoria proper as well as its Ian Potter Centre in Federation Square (the former for the Monet exhibition and the latter for the Australian Impressionists in France exhibition - both outstanding), the Melbourne Museum (catering for herself's perchance for taxidermy for one thing), and the Immigration Museum (outstanding - put it number one for your next Melbourne visit).

Crown Towers in Melbourne.

Also on the agenda was a modest about of retail therapy including finding a delightful bookshop called Embiggen Books, dining at several great vegan restaurants and cafes and circumnavigating the CBD on the free City Circle tram, which should be the envy of any city without such public transport. It's a shame, however, the city's tram pass system appears so visitor unfriendly.

Back at the world of Crown, a spa treatment had been slotted in for myself, the Hommage Back Sculpture massage package at the Crown Spa, which lasted for an hour and left me feeling that surely I now had the body of a Greek god. Herself was able to bring me back to earth with a gentle thud … but the treatment was immensely enjoyable.

Crown Towers short stay story by Lindsay Saunders

For the record, while I was being extensively renovated, herself was watching trashy TV and sipping sparkly drinks. In the bath.

As for the Crown Tower itself, a vision of marble and chrome and glass, highlights, other than our stunningly huge room, included chilling in the Crystal Club for drinkies and canapés from 5pm, a good quality breakfast buffet also in the club, the towers' stunning pool area and an excellent Gibson in The Waiting Room bar in the hotel's lobby. Actually, make that two excellent Gibsons.

After two nights in the Crown Tower, we reckon that as a base for either exploring the city of Melbourne or, indeed, never leaving the place, you won't go wrong with Crown Towers.

The standard of all services, including the way the suite was spotless before and during our stay, was as good as you could want, whether you're a VIP, a con man or just yourself.
The author was a guest of Crown Hotels.

Crown Towers in Melbourne.