'The Perfect Couple' is like the orgasm that never arrives

The world is obsessing over the new Netflix show, but this Aussie mum likens it to a date where the fun and chemistry are all there, but you end up just holding hands!

The Perfect Couple is being hailed as the drama of the year, with Netflix subscribers spending a collective 103.5 million hours watching the show during its first four days of streaming alone.

Starring big names like Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber and Eve Hewson, The Perfect Couple on Netflix feels like The White Lotus’s more scandalous cousin - because what’s better than a luxury vacation gone wrong? A luxury wedding with a murder twist, of course!

Picture your classic wedding tale: sun, sand, a picturesque ceremony... then throw in a dead body, because why not? What’s a perfect wedding without a little murder mystery to liven things up?

Nicole Kidman plays the impeccably dressed mother of the groom, delivering icy glares and passive-aggressive one-liners while everything unravels.

And I mean EVERYTHING. Suddenly, all that family drama, hidden affairs, and dirty secrets are spilling out faster than rosé at a White Lotus resort. It’s got the same high-society dysfunction and suspiciously beautiful scenery, but with fewer poolside cocktails and more "whodunit" chaos.

It’s not meant to be a comedy, but it kinda is and I really enjoyed watching it. Sort of.

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The world is obsessing over Netflix hit The Perfect Couple. Image: Netflix

A well-timed sigh instead of fireworks

I want to clarify that the The Perfect Couple is a great, easy watch. It’s palatable high drama. The cast is exquisite, the production is spot on and I’m currently planning a beachside, group dance routine for my next family get together.

The drama is all there. The lust is all there. The aspirational good looking family is all there. But the clever plot twists and turns … not so much. They are more like gentle curves.

Scene after scene is built up, giving you that ‘here we go’ energy, just to fizzle out to land not quite where you expected it to go.

The Perfect Couple on Netflix is like gearing up for a thrilling ride that promises a wild climax but somehow stalls right before you get there. It’s got all the right moves - Nicole Kidman throwing sharp looks, a gorgeous beachside wedding, a juicy murder mystery - everything is perfectly set up to blow your mind.

And just when you think it's all about to explode into a big reveal, it just... doesn't. The drama simmers, the tension builds, and you’re on the edge of your seat, but instead of fireworks, you get a flicker and a fade. It’s great, but you’re constantly left wanting that big moment that never quite arrives.

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The dinner party could have been so much more!

Without giving too much away, there’s a dinner scene that is a prime example of what I am talking about.

During the family dinner Nicole Kidman’s character is aggressively questioned about the fact that she makes all her guests sign NDAs, and it’s the perfect setup for what you think will be an explosive revelation. You’re expecting scandal, drama, maybe even a family-shattering secret to come tumbling out - something big enough to match the tension in the air. But instead, it’s like all the build-up leads to a polite shrug and a sip of wine.

Scenes like this throughout leave you feeling like you were this close to the big payoff, but instead, you get small talk and side-eye. It’s the dramatic equivalent of being all revved up with nowhere to go. Great scene, but where’s the spark?

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The characters are the saving grace here

Sure, they’ve rolled out a few tropes that we’re all familiar with. The arrogant, self-obsessed and destructive rich kid and his snooty wife. The meddling, toxic mother-in-law. A team of dedicated detectives who investigate these vicious felonies … you know the drill.

However they’re all played to perfection. Nicole Kidman in The Perfect Couple is basically what you’d get if elegance, sarcasm, and a slight air of “I’m too good for this” were wrapped in designer couture.

She glides through the chaos of the wedding and murder drama with the kind of calm only someone with decades of dealing with other people’s nonsense could master. She doesn’t even need to raise her voice to make you feel like you’ve just been utterly dismissed - she can do it with a single icy stare or a well-timed sip of her drink.

And then there’s Eve Hewson, who plays Amelia, the bride. Sidenote: Did you know she was the daughter of U2’s Bono? Mind blown! I digress.

Eve Hewson is like the wildcard you didn’t see coming but can’t take your eyes off. She plays the bride with this perfect mix of wide-eyed innocence and “I’m hiding way more than you think” energy. One minute she’s all sweet and wholesome, and the next, she’s dropping truth bombs and staring down family secrets like it’s just another Tuesday. She brings just the right amount of unpredictability, like she’s always a step ahead while everyone else is still stuck in their beachy wedding fantasy. Hewson nails that balance of charm and chaos, making you wonder if she’s the only sane one or secretly pulling all the strings.

Is it the exciting crime watch that everyone has been craving? Image: Netflix

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Look, I’d probably watch it again

For me, this a fun watch, but I feel like it kind of misses the mark on the murder-mystery part.

There was nothing too revolutionary happening with the suspense. When you think it’s about to hit that perfect peak, it pulls back. The suspense builds and builds, secrets are teased, drama is served, and then... it kind of just lingers, leaving you hanging.

It’s like an average lover giving you an OK time. You’d keep them on the rotation, but just know you’d probably never reach climax!

Originally published as 'The Perfect Couple' is like the orgasm that never arrives