Surprising way working from home has impacted Aussies’ sex lives

It’s no secret that hybrid and remote working as had a huge impact on the way Aussies live, but there is one X-rated side effect no one saw coming.

We already know increased access to working from home and flexible working arrangements has had a hugely positive impact on the lives of many Australians.

Remote and hybrid work becoming the norm has reduced stress and burnout among employees by allowing them to achieve a healthier work-life balance.

But it seems the uptick in flexible work has had another, more X-rated, impact as well: Aussies having more sex.

The findings come as part of the Body+Soul 2024 Sex Census, which surveyed more than 2000 Australians over the age of 18 in order to reveal what’s really going on in bedrooms across the country.

Those surveyed revealed the biggest barrier to sex they were experiencing was stress and burnout, with 48 per cent choosing this option.

Respondents also claimed having less energy and getting older were other factors getting in the way of sex.

It seems that flexible working arrangements has had the biggest impact for younger Aussies, with almost half of those under 30 saying it has allowed for more sex.

Body+Soul editor-in-chief Jacqui Mooney. Picture: Britta Campion

Body+Soul editor-in-chief Jacqui Mooney said the results show Aussies' relationship to their work can have a significant impact on other areas of their life.

“When we polled the nation, stress and cost of living pressures were one of the biggest barriers to sex,” Mooney said.

“Changes in the way we work have also had an impact on what’s happening in our collective sexual landscape.

“While flexible working hasn’t led to more sex for the majority of people according to our survey, things were significantly different for the under 30s, with almost half (48 per cent) revealing that working from home had allowed for more sex.”

For Christine Rafe, a Sex and Relationship Therapist at Good Vibes Clinic in Sydney, the idea that working from home has had an impact on people’s sex lives doesn’t surprise her “at all”.

Speaking to news.com.au, Ms Rafe revealed that while there is a social rhetoric that couples mostly have sex at the end of the day and right before bed, this is actually not the reality for many Aussies.

“Each person is going to be different as to when they feel the most interested in sex, but it’s more common for this to be during the day/early afternoon than after a long day, big dinner and the 10-step night-time routine,” Ms Rafe said.

“Flexible working and working from home provides space at other times of the day where sexual intimacy is possible.”

Christine Rafe is a Sex and Relationship Therapist at the Good Vibes Clinic. Picture: Instagram

Sexologist Lillie Brown. Picture: Cohen Maberly

Ms Rafe believes work can have more of an impact on people’s sex lives than “anything that is actually related to sex”.

She said stress and fatigue are most likely to be the biggest libido killers, as shown which is reflected in the Body+Soul 2024 Sex Census survey results.

“When we are stressed, our body is in a sympathetically dominant nervous system state (known as our fight/flight state),” the sex therapist said.

“It is not in our biology to be horny or erect/aroused when we are in fight/flight, as historically this would be our survival state where we would be fighting or running for our lives.”

Other barriers to sexual intimacy, according to the Body+Soul 2024 Sex Census, include a feeling of disconnection with your partner, a lack of time, and physical or medical changes.

For one in four women, psychological or hormonal changes and menopause are listed as barriers to sex.

For parents, having kids is the second most common reason for sex to fall by the wayside, with 46 per cent saying having children gets in the way of physical intimacy.

Somatic sexologist and intimacy coach Lillie Brown was also not surprised to hear working from home is allowing more Aussies to have sex, telling news.com.au one of the biggest challenges clients under 30 share with her is managing work-related stress and pressure.

“Australia has an almost obsessive work culture and we spend so much of our active, waking hours at work which doesn’t leave much in the tank for pleasure,” Ms Brown said.

“When your mind is racing with thoughts about the emails you forgot to send, what’s on tomorrow’s to-do list, and who’s picking the kids up from swimming it’s hard to switch off and be fully present with your partner and during sex.”

If you are someone who believes your work is having a negative affect on your sex life, Ms Brown said the first step is to have an honest and open conversation with your partner, even if it feels “uncomfortable” to bring up.

She said speaking with your partner about what is hindering your sexual desire is important so you can both work on remedying the issue and avoid having your partner internalise your low libido as a reflection on them.

“In the absence of open communication, we make assumptions and fill in information gaps which leads to more stress and a lack of connection,” she said.

Psychologist Carly Dober also agreed discussing your “sexual appetite” with your partner is an important step, along with voicing if you feel any pressure to “perform”, as this can turn into a “negative feedback loop”.

Psychologist Carly Dober. Picture: Supplied

Speaking to news.com.au, she also noted that building stronger boundaries around work and reflecting on your current routine is a key part of the process.

She believes it is important to evaluate your current work-life balance and how well you are managing your stress levels.

“Consider talking to your manager about your current stressors or workload and see if they can support you in any way,” Ms Dober said.

“Ensure that you’re engaging in fun and pleasurable activities, sleeping well, engaging in consistent and regular nutrition, and exercising as all of these things also can influence our overall mood.”

Originally published as Surprising way working from home has impacted Aussies’ sex lives