‘I have no intention of slowing down, and I like it that way’: Why Maria Thattil is taking her power back
In a revealing interview, Maria Thattil has opened up to Stellar’s podcast, Something To Talk About, about her decision to be child free - and why she is living life on her own terms.
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Former Miss Universe Australia Maria Thattil has opened up about her decision to be child-free – and how she has navigated the reaction to it from both the public and in her personal life.
“That is my decision to be child free. I do not believe I’m going to change my mind,” Thattil told Stellar’s podcast, Something To Talk About.
She also revealed she plans to freeze her eggs – in case her perspective changes in the future.
“As a free person, I’m going to be freezing my eggs this year to give myself the choice in case in five, six, seven, eight years, whatever, I change my mind. That’s also okay,” the 30-eary-old told Stellar, in a revealing interview.
Maria Thattil is this week’s guest on Stellar’s podcast, Something To Talk About. Listen to the interview below:
“When people judge that or they say things to me like, you know, oh, you’re really living your purpose if you become a mother or, you know, you’re going to when you’re old, what are you going to do if no one’s there to take care of you? And a lot of these sentiments reflect a couple of things.
“One, it reflects this idea that, you know, females or, you know, people who are assigned female at birth, a value lies in our ability to reproduce. So for those who are not able to do that, what are we saying about them?
“It also suggests that having kids is this thing that people need to do to make sure they’re taken care of, like you’re birthing a caretaker. If that’s what you’re doing it for, you’re probably not in it for the right reasons.”
Thattil reiterated that she was “very comfortable with my decision to be child free”.
“I love my life and my career and the ability to keep doing all the stuff that I want to do,” she said.
“I just turned 30, and I often get that sentiment of, oh, you going to settle down soon? Absolutely not. I have no intention of slowing down, and I like it that way. That’s what life means to me, and it will mean something different to the next person. It’s just about honouring every person’s personhood and their choice.”
Speaking on Something To Talk About, Thattil also weighed in on the debate over how women dress and how it correlates to their intelligence.
“How can you do both? How can our little brains juggle both? Can I be super frank and tell a story?,” Thattil mused.
“I was on the news a couple of years ago talking about sexism and misogyny after being added to a really heinous group chat with a group of men. It made national news, and I remember hearing from a friend that within his group chat of men who are 30 to 35 years old, one of them said, ‘It’s a bit rich. She’s talking about sexism when she walked in a bikini on a Miss Universe stage.’
“And the idea of a woman exercising agency over a body or being confident in her sexuality – there is nothing inherently wrong with that … It’s really important that I show people that I’m very comfortable with my body, with my sexuality, with my agency. If I don’t want to have kids, if I want to wear a little dress, if I want to do whatever, I’ll do whatever I want, I don’t owe anyone an explanation. And it also doesn’t affect my credibility. So, yeah, I can wear a thong on Instagram and it doesn’t take away from the fact that I was nominated for a scholarship to Harvard University. You can put that on a T-shirt.”
READ MARIA’S LATEST COLUMN FOR STELLAR BELOW
I had an epiphany last December, and it occurred while watching season three of Emily In Paris. Before anybody resurrects any grievances about Emily not actually being able to afford that wardrobe brimming with Valentino and Balmain – don’t.
I’m a Sex And The City fan who appreciates the fashion legacy being carried across series made by Darren Star Productions. And I’m happy to live in the stylish delusion … but it has led me to question my own fashion choices.
I’m not talking about what I wear to events because, from my bejewelled “naked” dress at the Logies to my metal snake at the National Gallery of Victoria [NGV] Gala, I know I commit to the fashion cause when I need to.
When it comes to events and work, I think through every detail of my look from concept to construction because I want to show up with impact.
However, I got to wondering: when I stripped away the events and work obligations, was I showing up for myself? Was I tapping into outfits as a source of joy? The answer was no.
I spent 2022 working on my book, Unbounded, and juggling it with other work commitments spanning TV and social media.
So on days when I wasn’t attending glamorous events, I stuck to my classic Melbourne uniform: black on black on black.
Whether I was going to meetings, social hangouts, errands or dinners, I’d throw on whatever activewear I found in my clean laundry and dash out the door.
But as I watched Emily gallivant around Paris in outfits that sparked joy, I realised that I was missing the opportunity to do the same. Research tells us that what we wear has the ability to affect our mood, cognition and, importantly, our confidence.
So with that in mind, I decided 2023 was my year to start “dopamine dressing”. It doesn’t require spending unsustainable amounts of money on clothes, or presenting a certain way – it just means that the way we dress is a tool we can use to boost our mood and show up for ourselves.
Now I dopamine dress for most things. I spend a few minutes consciously picking an outfit for the day – and I choose bright colours.
Whether it’s engaging with new clients, having lunch with friends, conducting business meetings or running errands, wearing outfits that are vibrant, colourful, stylish (by my standards) and feel like “me” help me to show up differently, because what you wear can be an extension of yourself.
You walk with a different energy when you wear things that feel beautiful. You walk with presence and confidence because the practice of conscious dressing can be an act of self-love.
You don’t need an occasion to justify dressing up: you are the occasion. And life is too short to “save” incredible outfits for the “right thing” or a “valid reason”.
Your life is precious, your days are the “right thing” and you are the reason. Try dopamine dressing for a year; it will change your life.
By then season four of Emily In Paris will be out. And until then, I’m good. I’m living my own version of Maria In Melbourne – and next season is going to be pretty good.
Maria Thattil is this week’s guest on Stellar’s Something To Talk About podcast in a new episode out now.
Originally published as ‘I have no intention of slowing down, and I like it that way’: Why Maria Thattil is taking her power back
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