I'm skipping my sister's wedding because she stole my baby name for her dog

"I think it's fair to be upset, but my parents think I'm being petty"

A woman has taken to Reddit after deciding that she wouldn’t be attending her sister’s wedding, due to her taking her dream baby name for her dog.

The woman said that finally, after years of fertility struggles, she and her husband are expecting their first child.

The two had agreed early on on the name - one she had loved since she was in school. But, months later, it was revealed that her sister had given the name to her dog.

Is she wrong for feeling upset?

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“She doesn’t care about me or my feelings”

“Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve had a favorite name: Lila,” her post began.

“It’s my dream name for a daughter, and I’ve talked about it so many times that my whole family knows it’s “my” name. It has a special meaning to me—my late grandmother was named Delilah, and it’s my way of honoring her. My husband loves the name too, so we decided pretty early on that this would be our baby girl’s name.”

But, it quickly became clear that not everyone got the message.

“Six months ago, my younger sister Emma (27F) got a golden retriever puppy. We were all excited for her—she’s always been an animal lover and was thrilled to finally get her own dog. But when she introduced us to the puppy, she casually said, “This is Lila!”,” she wrote.

“At first, I thought she was joking. I even laughed and said, “No way, Emma. You know that’s my baby name!” But she just shrugged and said, “It’s a name, not a copyright. I thought it was cute for a dog.” I was honestly stunned. I didn’t want to make a big scene, so I let it go in the moment, but it really bothered me.

“As time went on, the whole family started referring to her dog as “Lila,” and it’s become the default association. At my baby shower last month, I was talking to some family members about the nursery, and when I mentioned naming the baby Lila, my aunt literally laughed and said, “You’re not actually naming your baby after Emma’s dog, right?””

The woman said the controversy turned her relationship with her sister sour.

“I felt humiliated. I tried to brush it off, but the more I think about it, the more it hurts. I finally sat Emma down privately and told her how I was feeling. I explained how important the name is to me, how it’s tied to Grandma, and how much it means to me after everything we’ve been through to have this baby,” she said.

“Emma rolled her eyes and said, “Oh my god, you’re seriously still mad about this? It’s just a dog’s name. You don’t own Lila.” I told her that while I’m still going to name my daughter Lila, she’s made it really awkward for me. She laughed and said, “Awkward for you, not for me!””

With Emma’s wedding now coming up in two weeks, and the poster supposed to be her maid of honour, the drama has well and truly come to a head.

“I don’t want to stand up there and celebrate her when I feel like she doesn’t respect me or care about my feelings. Last week, I told her that I wasn’t sure I could attend the wedding because of how hurt I’ve been about everything,” she said.

“She lost it. She called me selfish and accused me of “ruining her big day” over something as “stupid” as a name. She even told me, “You’re the one making this a thing. Nobody cares except you.””

Their family and friends are divided on the matter - and so is she - turning to the comments for advice.

“My parents are siding with her, saying I’m being “petty and hormonal” and need to let it go because “family is more important than a name”,” she said.

“My husband, on the other hand, is furious. He says Emma has been dismissive and mean, and I shouldn’t have to put my feelings aside just to keep the peace.”

“Now I feel torn. I know skipping her wedding is a huge deal, and I don’t want to cause a permanent rift, but I also feel like Emma has completely dismissed my feelings and made this whole situation worse.”

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“Your sister isn’t being as considerate as she should be”

Many commenters on the post sided with the woman, saying her sister was being careless and inconsiderate, with others labelling her calculated.

“If family were more important than a name, Emma would have named her dog something else,” one commenter said.

“Family is supposed to support each other, and it sounds like your sister isn’t being as considerate as she should be. Your feelings are valid, and it’s important to stand your ground when it comes to something that means so much to you. You have every right to decide how to handle this,” said another.

“A name might seem small to some, but it’s clearly deeply personal to you, and your sister should’ve respected that,” a third agreed.

“If family is more important than a name why didn't she change the dogs name as soon as she realised you were not okay with it? She did it on purpose and she's your parents golden child,” said another.

“It seems like there’s a lack of respect for ur feelings from ur sister’s side. It’s one day for her, but it's a lifetime of ur identity. Setting boundaries is important, and if she can't recognize ur discomfort, it's her failing, not urs,” another agreed.

“It’s a name ffs”

However, just as many said that the poster was being dramatic, and should name her child whatever she pleases regardless of her sister’s choice.

“Ugh! This is too exhausting for me. It's a name ffs,” one commenter said.

“Who tf cares what your sister names her dog,” said another.

“The grandmother in question is the sisters grandmother too..... It's entirely possible that she named the dog after the person she loved,” a third suggested.

“You are an adult but behave like a young teenager. You want to name your daughter Lila? Call her Lila. Who cares if your sister's current dog is called Lila too?” one asked.

“It's just a name. Your sister is completely correct that you don't have a copyright on it. It's a dog not a person. Settle down. Everyone in your family is right, you are being ridiculous,” another said.

Originally published as I'm skipping my sister's wedding because she stole my baby name for her dog