I'm in my lazy mum era and it has changed the way I parent

The planned dinners are a thing of the past, the washing is piling up, lunch boxes are empty, but my Tetris score has never looked better!

As I flipped the blocks over on my last line of Tetris, I heard the front door open.

It was 5:30pm. My hubby arrived home from a busy day at work. The kids took a break from their homework and did their usual race downstairs to say hi - all while I was trying my best not to get distracted. I was on a roll to beating my top score of 65,000, the hello's could wait. 

Then came the question... “Hey babe, what’s for dinner?”

And that’s when I realised. Nothing. Nothing was for dinner. In fact, for the past hour, I was enjoying myself doing absolutely F-all and I only realised it was dinner time because my game of Tetris was rudely interrupted. 

You see I’ve entered my Lazy Mum Era. And this is what I do now.

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Here is me in lazy mum mode playing Tetris. Image: Supplied

I'm done with the mental load

Like a lot of mums out there, I take on most of the mental load in our house.

That's not to say hubby doesn't do anything, he certainly does. In fact, he cooks more (and better) than I do.

But those forms that make their way into school bags? They come to me. The 'save the dates' for school commitments and party invitations? I write them in the diary. Carnivals, extra-curricular activities, etc? It's usually me who takes them.  And yes, those lunch boxes are also packed by yours truly because I'm the one who knows which child loves avocado and which one hates Vegemite.

But over the last few weeks, I've realised I'm done.

I'm not grumpy, I'm just done with taking on all that information and responsibility. My kids are 11 and 9 and at an age where they can do a lot of things themselves. It's time I gave myself a break.

So I sat on the couch and downloaded Tetris - and I've hardly moved since!

Listen to Leah embracing her lazy mum era in episode 1 of Mum Club. Listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts so you never miss an episode.

First to go was making nice dinners

I mentioned before that I'm not the head chef in our house and there's a good reason for that.

Look, I can cook a mean chook and potatoes in the oven, beef stir fry, or grilled lamb chops and salad, but gourmet is not something I necessarily nail. 

But it's not just the cooking part that's a drag to me. It's the prep beforehand - making sure you have all the ingredients and that it's all out ready to go at the end of a busy day. 

I stumbled into my lazy mum era one day after I completely forgot to get some meat out to defrost for dinner. I realised when I got home after work and I also realised no one died in the process of me forgetting. Revolutionary! We settled on cheese toasties and that was the night done. 

Since that realisation, the toasties have been creeping in weekly. Sometimes twice a week. WOO!

In the time that I would usually reserve for cooking dinner, I plonk myself on the couch with an LED face mask on. Once I tried to cook something in that time, but I was enjoying myself too much and totally forgot that I had spinach cooking on the stove. The result of that experience is below. So I decided to keep going with those toasties and yep, we're all still thriving.  

RELATED: ‘Lazy parents raise better kids’

What happens when I "cook" dinner. Images: Supplied

Then it was the lunch boxes

When my kids first started school, preparing lunch boxes filled me with excitement. I loved creating fun little shapes out of veggie cutters and sometimes I spent my weekends and school holidays making freezable snacks and savoury rolls. They call me "Yiayia" for a reason over here!

Filling the lunch box with these pre-made snacks meant I got out of sandwich duties. Slowly, the drawer in the freezer emptied out and fast forward to now, there is nothing left.

I have ZERO plans to fill it up with more creations right now. But the other day, after an eventful weekend celebrating my friend's 40th and still recovering on the Sunday evening, I completely forgot about prepping lunch boxes for school the next day. While Monday morning was a scramble and a half after I realised, again, no one died in the process. 

The washing is piling up

For years I would have a debate with friends and colleagues about the fact that I still own and USE an iron. I could never get over the fact that I was possibly the minority out there who made sure clothes were wrinkle-free each week. 

But what a drag! My Sunday arvos were often taken up with me standing in front of the TV ironing away while others continued to enjoy their weekend. So I decided to stop. Not completely (I'm not that wild just yet) but I decided it was time to do the popular fold and store method everyone has been telling me about for everyday items and only got the iron out for things like school uniforms and business shirts. 

And guess what? No one seems to notice - or care - about the occasional crease!

RELATED: Introducing Mum Club: The mother's group you didn't know you needed

Leah is in her "Lazy Mum" era and has zero regrets. Image: Supplied

Embracing my inner "lazy mum" has changed the way I parent

Now, if you're someone who has read to this point and has been like, "Girl, I've been doing all of this and have been a lazy mum for years!" I applaud you. I'm happy to finally be part of this 'club' of yours and can't believe it's taken me so long to get here because essentially what I've realised is that you're a great parent!

There is no shame in putting yourself first. 

During my time embracing my inner Lazy Mum, I see now that not everyone always needs me. Sure, my kids are still pretty little and there are of course some things I need to step in for to help.

But those little things around the house? Stress is not needed. The washing doesn't NEED to be done by a Sunday arvo. Not everything NEEDS to be ironed. The kids CAN have a lunch order instead of a lunch box filled with home made treats. Dinner doesn't have to be Michelin-star on a Wednesday. 

It's OK for you to sit back and put yourself first, because by doing so, it means your cup is full and a happy parent means happy children. 

If that means playing Tetris while everyone wonders what's for dinner, then go for it I say! They can always open up the fridge themselves...

Originally published as I'm in my lazy mum era and it has changed the way I parent