5 massive wedding mistakes that should see you kicked out of the venue
It goes without saying that, as a guest, you simply cannot wear white to a wedding. But what about cream, beige, or even lemon? Here are the biggest faux pas you can make that are likely to leave the bride in tears.
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I recently attended a good friend's wedding in Sydney and one of our mutual girlfriends arrived wearing a sexy, slinky frock that I kid you not, was as close to white as it comes.
I was bewildered, as were many of our other friends. I recognised the label and after the wedding, simply couldn't help myself but Google the dress to read the description. Perhaps to her defence, the gown was labelled as "yellow" on the brand's website. But that is absolutely not how it presented on the day.
The scandal was discussed by wedding guests for weeks afterwards, and we're all sure the bride was very aware of the situation on the day, especially seeing as this guest posted multiple photos of herself with the happy couple on social media the following day.
This is far from the only big wedding guest no-no that we've seen do the rounds on social media over the years. From gift etiquette, to arriving late, bringing kids to an adults-only affair, and taking photos during the ceremony after explicitly being asked not to.
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Here are the top five blunders guests make that are sure to ruin the bride and groom's day.
Forego a gift
My husband and I have been married for nearly five years, and we still talk about which friends of ours consciously decided not to congratulate us with a wedding gift (there were surprisingly a LOT!). We were living in the United States at the time, so we provided a gift registry, picking out a few items that we loved from our local homewares store and specifying that we'd chosen them to help set up our new home when we returned to Australia. Alas, plenty of guests seemingly decided their presence was the present.
Pro tip: Although traditional wedding etiquette indicates that buying a gift isn't mandatory, it is highly encouraged. You don't have to go overboard, but don't be the friend too cheap to chip in on a nice vase or platter. Your mates are worth it.
Ask to bring a plus-one
Most wedding venues have a fairly strict capacity when it comes to guest numbers, and most couples work within a pretty tight budget when it comes to how many loved ones they can afford to accommodate. As a general rule, your invitation will specify whether you've been given a plus-one (the "and guest" is a pretty big giveaway).
Don't put the bride and groom in that sticky situation where they are either forced to stretch their budget and accommodate for someone they clearly didn't feel they knew well enough to invite, or make them become the 'bad guys' by having to tell you no. Very awkward for everyone involved.
Rock up late
See the start time for the ceremony on your invitation? Yeah, that's a non-negotiable. If the couple has asked you to arrive no later than 3.30 pm for a 4 pm start, then you arrive at 3.25 pm and promptly take your seat. There is always at least one pesky guest who attempts to quietly slip into the venue just as the bride is arriving and hopes it goes unnoticed. It doesn't.
The whole tradition of the bride arriving "fashionably late" to the ceremony is rarely seen these days. Many venues have strict start times, not to mention officiants often charge by the hour. The brides I have witnessed are efficient AF and keen to get on with the show. Don't let them beat you to their own big day.
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Ignore the dress code
Wearing white as a guest is possibly the biggest cardinal sin one can make. But the same goes for men wearing chinos and no ties to a black tie wedding, or women wearing a casual summer frock and thongs to a cocktail wedding. You don't have to spend a fortune on a new outfit. Think about borrowing a dress from a girlfriend who is the same size as you, or hiring a tux online. There are so many wonderful dress hire websites these days, such as The Volte and Glam Corner, giving you the option of hiring a gown for a few days at a fraction of the cost of buying one.
Disregard the social media requests
Many weddings these days specify before the ceremony starts what the policy is on taking photos throughout the celebration. We asked our celebrant to quickly mention our 'unplugged' request just before I arrived at the church. Quite simply, I didn't want to look back on my wedding photos in 20 years time and see everyone I loved holding an iPhone in front of their lovely faces.
Beyond slipping your phones away during the ceremony (and off!), guests should always check what the couples' request is around posting photos and videos to social media on the day and the following day. Just let the photographer do their job - and NEVER post a photo of the happy couple to Facebook prematurely. The bride will never forgive you.
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Originally published as 5 massive wedding mistakes that should see you kicked out of the venue