Your Christmas lunch could kill my kid

"It's really sad to see your child miss out on one of the biggest joys of Xmas. But I have some tips."

I've witnessed my son almost die from severe food allergies four times.

I've watched as his  body becomes covered in large, angry, red welts, pain and panic on his face as his throat slowly closes and he struggles to breathe.

That's an anaphylactic reaction; and as a mum, it's bloody terrifying to see.

Which is why, for almost a decade, my kid ate sausages and bread at Christmas.*

Since the age of two, he's been anaphylactic to eggs, nuts and shellfish, and has an oral allergy to fruit.

That rules out roasts stuffed with nuts (and the veggies in the same pan), nougat and most chocolate, fondant icing, pavlova, many baked goods, custard, Christmas pudding, seafood - and so many of the dishes we associate with the festive season.

When our culture revolves around indulging on the day, and 'traditional' Xmassy foods, it's broken my heart on more than one occasion to watch my son survey a table and know there's nothing for him, but loads for everyone else.

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A more inclusive Xmas menu can avoid a child eating separately like this. Image: Nama Winston

RELATED: Here’s how your kids can still eat peanut butter at a nut-free school

"More than missing out on food"

But it's more than simply missing out on food. 

It's a host making a big, loud deal out of how conscious they are of his allergies - the second we walk through the door.

"Don't worry, I've set your dishes aside in the laundry room!"

The fuss made over the barbeque: "Now let Winston eat the sausages first, it's all he can have!"

The comments as we all sit down, "Oh, I'm so sorry you can't have the pav, it's so good!"

All well-meaning, all just making us feel more isolated.

Christmas lunches and dinners, school events and parties, have played out like this for my kid for a decade. I can't describe how stressful it is as a parent, knowing what can happen.

But here's the good news: what I've found over the years is that there are some Christmas foods that he can eat, including some that are now our new traditions.

RELATED: I can’t be responsible for your child’s allergy at my kid’s party

How we do our allergy-friendly Christmas

First up: As an allergy mum, I need you to understand the foods I recommend cater to our situation - not everyone's. But hopefully they help parents and hosts to make Christmas more allergy-friendly.

*The below is based on the particular experiences of the author and her son's specific allergies. This information is intended to be general in nature and is not medical or professional advice. If your child suffers from anaphylaxis, please make sure you conduct your own research and seek professional medical advice from a child's allergy specialist so that the right steps can be taken for their specific circumstances.

If you're at an event/out

Watch out for cross-contamination of utensils, glasses, any item that is shared.

Enquire about the presence of specific ingredients, otherwise you'll get a general spiel that "they can't guarantee anything" - which is not what we're asking.

If you know the host, offer to bring a couple of plates for anyone with allergies - not just your child.

If we're at home/eating at someone's home

Basically, we made a decision to enjoy our favourite foods, even if they don't match, and even if no one else considers them traditionally Christmassy!

(This might sound like an ad for Woolies, but it's just where I shop.)

Mac and Cheese - either self-made, or Woolies does one that hasn't caused a reaction

Brandy snaps and cream - specifically from Woolies

Vienetta (old school)

Baked ham (just check the glaze) - This year we had one from IGA and there was no reaction with the glaze

Mashed potatoes - always safe

Really amazing bread (and butter) - being mindful of seeds as well as nuts in the bread

Jelly - good old fashioned Aeroplane - and ice cream

Cheese and plain crackers - luckily we don't have a dairy allergy so most bougie cheeses are safe

Chicken curry and rice - homemade curry paste - we couldn't risk it from a jar or restaurant

Lasagne - homemade - some lasagne sauces include whole egg, especially in restaurants

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Kidspot Kitchen's Xmas recipes you can modify

Selected by Kidspot Kitchen Editor Elizabeth Macri: 

Xmas baubles -just cheese and cherry tomato

Chicken sliders - but skip the optional mayonnaise

Baked brie wreath - the egg is only for glazing, so it easily be omitted

Glazed ham - the marmalade glaze can be substituted with honey

Slow roasted pork belly - we usually skip the apple

Cheerio Xmas tree - the food colour can be easily skipped

Grinch Xmas popcorn - the food colour can be easily skipped, it may just not be as Grinchy.

Originally published as Your Christmas lunch could kill my kid