Why Aussie mum's 'house of horrors' daycare feels so familiar

"It makes me wonder if, at nearly two years old, he is putting on a brave face for me?"

Every morning, we drop my son off at daycare, knowing he’ll be safe, happy, and excited for the day ahead. 

As a new mother, I still battle the guilt of leaving him, despite knowing he is well cared for.

Throughout the day his teachers send me photos so I can see what activities he’s getting up to. 

They’re my lifeline to him.   

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You'd never know what's really going on

I’m able to look at his face and see the wonder in his eyes and the glow in his smile.  

For NSW mother Jane (the mother's name has been changed due to court orders), those daily photos from her childcare centre painted the same picture.

Only, there was a sinister lie behind what she now knows were forced smiles. 

“The reality is, it is every parent’s worst nightmare,” she told ABC’s Four Corners.

Her little boy, along with other children at the centre, was confined to highchairs for hours on end at a time.

Some children endured rough handling: force-fed, pinched, yanked, even thrown to the floor.

Yet, you’d never know, just looking at the photos.  

The photos Jane received of her son at daycare. Images via Four Corners.

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It raises some painful questions

Jane says her son was only ever taken out of his high chair to pose for carefully curated photos which led his mother to believe a very different story. 

“It’s a house of horrors, and the people in it are the devil as far as I’m concerned. I don’t want any parent to ever go through what I went through.”    

As parents, we entrust these educators with more than just our children. We entrust them with our hearts.

They carry the weight of our love, responsible for the one life we would go to the ends of the earth to protect. 

We hope they'd do the same while they're in their care. 

So when that trust is shattered so carelessly, it raises a painful question:  Why would someone want this job if they hate kids?

Why bother studying for it? Writing the résumé? Showing up for the interview?

All to resent it so deeply that neglecting a child becomes normalised to them?  

All while parents pay sky rocketing fees just to be able to work and support their families. Why are we paying hundreds a week for our child to be traumatised by someone who sees the job as just a pay check?

Early childhood education should be a passion, not a backup plan. It’s not a big ask to show up to work appreciative of the fact that you’re shaping a child’s early years.

If you dislike working with kids, there are countless other jobs that don’t involve them. 

But to take a photo, masking your indifference, disguising your neglect, and gaslighting parents into believing their child is safe?

That is truly abhorrent.

Photos of my son loving life at daycare. Image: Supplied

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How can we ever spot the signs?

I absolutely adore the educators at my son’s school. But seeing the eerie familiarity in Jane’s photos makes me question everything.

I hate that. It makes me question the trust my son’s educators have rightfully earned.

It makes me wonder if, at nearly two years old, he is putting on a brave face for me.

We rely on those photos to reassure us. They bring us comfort and reassure us that we're going to work so their lives will be better. 

The fact that this trust has been shaken is one of the saddest aspects of this story.

If such mistreatment can be so carefully disguised, how can we ever spot the signs?  

Originally published as Why Aussie mum's 'house of horrors' daycare feels so familiar