‘We have four kids and my husband just told me he regrets becoming a dad’

“The kids are between three and seven, the last two babies were twins… it’s too late for regret, this behaviour is unacceptable,” the furious mum reveals.

The other day I was in the returns queue at Bunnings chatting with a stranger the who told me she was secretly returning a present her husband had given her.

She simply didn’t like it, but she also didn’t want to hurt his feelings, so she tried to reverse the purchase covertly.

In life, we all have regrets, things we wish we hadn’t gone all-in on, or lied and said we liked when we didn’t, but there are some gifts you just can’t give back.

Kids for example.

No matter how much they squabble with each other over the pettiest things (this happened today), or leave greasy pizza boxes on the light-coloured rug you should never have bought (also happened to me today), or crawl into bed with you at 4am and tuck their cold little feet under your thigh (this happens to me every single night), you’re stuck with them.

And as a parent, kids aren’t just something you’re stuck with.

You’re responsible for them, for making sure you guide them through the world, keep them safe, love them more than you love yourself.

Even if you didn’t know all that before you decided to have (or got surprise pregnant with) kids, plenty of parents are on board with the deal.

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Carla was devastated but also not surprised that her husband regretted their kids. Photo: iStock

My husband regrets our kids

Carla’s* husband Simon however, is not.

The couple is four children in and he just told her he regrets the whole brood.

“He pressured me into having our first as he felt ready to be a dad, and I gave in,” she explained in a Reddit post.

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“We now have four kids, my last pregnancy being surprise twins, ranging in ages from three to seven.”

A few days ago, Simon revealed that he w ished he never had children.

“He’s tired of his life revolving around them. I told him I know it’s a hard season, but you have to remember it doesn’t last forever.”

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Simon wasn’t uplifted by Carla’s reassurance.

“His reply was that even when they are older they will always need something.”

Carla wasn’t surprised, but she was still hurt. Her husband didn’t seem to have any interest in changing the family dynamic, and often blamed others for his feelings.

“I’ve been thinking about asking for a divorce for the last year since I’ve started therapy and realised that some of his behaviour is unacceptable and him saying this makes my decision feel more solid.”

They also have the classic imbalance of responsibilities. Both work full time, but Carla does all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, baths, bedtimes for the kids. “It’s a freaking lot,” she said.

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Reddit supports mum

The commenters were overwhelmingly in support of Carla.

“Get a divorce and you’ll get your autonomy back and he’ll realise what it means to run a household and work full time next to it.”

RELATED: Husband regrets becoming a dad

“You sound like you’re already doing it by yourself, and if he’s bringing nothing to the table apart from money, I’d seriously consider divorce,” said another.

Many people commented that Simon might not fulfil his side of the child support deal, or want to help by sharing custody of the kids. But others pointed out that Carla’s life was miserable.

“Living with an emotional abuser ruins your life,” one person said. “Living with someone who refuses to be happy and see joy ruins your life. I’m not just talking about mum, I’m talking about the four hostages fate brought into the world.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as ‘We have four kids and my husband just told me he regrets becoming a dad’