The surprising group calling my birth plan 'dystopian'

“You're just making a statement online to fearmonger women.”  

Sarah is currently in the final stretch of her third pregnancy. 

The Brisbane mum is currently 37 weeks and she is truly battling toward the finish line. 

As a hairdresser running her own business, she has her hands full. She has two kids and a new daycare illness each week to contend with. But despite it all, she couldn’t be more excited that their newest family member is almost here. 

“It's just been a pretty straightforward textbook pregnancy,” she told Kidspot.  

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"I feel like that's extreme internalized misogyny"

However, something has felt different this time around. Something she’s struggled to ignore and something she feels strongly needs to be called out. 

It’s the judgement and toxic opinions from a surprising group: other mums.  

“People think they're anonymous on the internet and that they can say what they want. I think that it's at an all time high right now,” Sarah shared. 

 She says this time the path of her digital footprint toward the delivery room has been paved with unsolicited advice, misinformation, and fear mongering because of her birth plan. 

Sarah has opted to have an elective c-section. 

In her personal life everyone is supportive of her decision. However, after sharing her choice online she was shocked to find a different story. 

“I receive comments saying that what I'm doing is dystopian and harmful to my baby and all these incorrect facts,” she explained.  

“You're just making a statement online to fearmonger women.”

Sarah says that it jars with the ongoing societal discussions about body autonomy. 

“We talk about what happens in the US about women losing their rights... We're so grateful to be in a country where we do have the right to our own body, our own choices and then I receive comments,” she said. 

As for the 'why', Sarah can't fully understand where the comments stem from, but she has a theory.

“Those thoughts are so strong and so aggressive and to me that just, yeah, I feel like that's extreme internalized misogyny,” she said. 

Sarah has been left shocked by attitudes toward her pregnancy. Image: Supplied

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"Mums tearing me down"

A common criticism she saw was her reasoning for a c-section wasn't 'valid' enough. Which she disputes wholeheartedly. 

She’s faced comments such as “it shouldn't even be allowed” and “you should just be able to birth your baby.”

“It definitely was giving me The Handmaid's Tale vibe big time,” she said. 

What strikes her most is none of the comments come from men.

"It was just other women and mums tearing me down,” she revealed.

It often feels like women can be a woman’s worst enemy, particularly around birth - a time women should be binding together. 

“It is the one time in your life where you're extremely vulnerable for a long period of time,” she argues. 

As she nears the end of her pregnancy she’s firm in her beliefs and the medical advice presented to her. 

“I feel like everything's gone really smoothly and it has been my body my choice the whole time,” she said. 

Pregnancy, Birth and Baby say that some parents prefer a caesarean section to a vaginal birth for non-medical reasons. The decision has risk and benefits which should be discussed with a medical professional. It's important to make an informed decision. 

Originally published as The surprising group calling my birth plan 'dystopian'