'The sleepover double standard we're not talking about'

"Times have changed - but the appeal of the sleepover obviously hasn't."

Sleepovers seem to spark more skepticism than pillow fights these days.

Once a rite of passage for many of us growing up, slumber parties have become a more complicated, and often controversial, topic for modern parents.

While the idea of unrolling a sleeping bag, digging into popcorn, and being told (repeatedly) to please go to sleep might seem innocent enough, the negative stories are getting harder to ignore. 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

RELATED: 'What is this?': Mum enraged by new sleepover act

"Yours can come here but mine can't go there"

Increasingly, parents are becoming more comfortable being the host of a sleepover, but not so keen on sending their child to someone else's home. 

One parent took to Reddit, with the username azulsonador0309, to question why the trust only seems to go one way. 

“Everyone seems to think 'yours can come here but mine can't go there' about sleepovers,” the parent started. 

While acknowledging that every parent has different comfort levels, the poster admitted the imbalance can often feel personal. 

“I'm left wondering why I should be expected to trust people to watch my kids when they wouldn't trust me to watch theirs?” the parent questioned. 

They clarified that it’s not about any specific conflict or concern she's faced. 

“It doesn’t seem to be a fundamental disagreement with my parenting or household either,” she admits. 

Many parents only allow sleepovers if it's at their house. mage: iStock

RELATED: Girl finds cameras at sleepover, but what happens next is far worse

"Never been to a sleepover"

However, she’s noticed a trend among her kids her daughter’s age. 

Their daughter, aged 10, has several friends who’ve “never been to a sleepover” because their parents only allow hosting. They're not allowed to participate in a sleepover if it's at another family's home. 

Turning to Reddit she asked other parents how that have been approaching the new era of sleepovers. 

One commenter recounted how they learned from their own experience as a child:.

“I had a friend over one time when I was like 10 or nine or something like that and my mom got drunk and screamed at my dad the entire night," the wrote.

"So someone's kid accidentally got to witness verbal domestic violence. I made sure to make my home a safe place, but you just have no idea with other parents” 

“We have to protect, but it also it's sad that it feels we have to avoid everything and even trust means nothing,” another reflected. 

“Everyone wants a village. No one wants to be a villager,” another poignantly pointed out. 

According to Raising Children Australia, sleepovers can still be positive experiences, but with boundaries:

Parents should always maintain clear communication with the host family of a sleepover. Ask for details about supervision and sleeping arrangements, and check in with your child directly throughout the event via text or call. Trust your instinct if something feels off and ensure your child has a clear exit plan should they want to return home. 

What are your thoughts? Let us know on our Facebook Page! 

Originally published as 'The sleepover double standard we're not talking about'