The hidden cost of being cruel to toddlers on planes

Odette was three, silent and still judged. 

“On the airplane, you need to be quiet.”

That was the warning three-year-old Odette was met with while waiting with her mum to check in at Brisbane airport.

She had been standing beside her mum, Emma, hand-in-hand, quietly excited for the family holiday ahead. Only to be reprimanded by a complete stranger.

“She was just standing there holding my hand like she was not saying anything. She was silent,” Emma told Kidspot. 

“And [the woman] kept turning around and looking at Odie and staring at her, like giving her a dirty look kind of thing.”

Odette had been minding her own business when a stranger gave her a warning she wasn't expecting. Image:TikTok/ emma.darrouzet.art

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"Mummy, I'm a good girl. I'm not a naughty girl"

According to Emma, that’s when, without warning, the woman reached out, placed her hand on Odette’s shoulder, and spun her around.

“She got down on her level, pointed her finger, and said, ‘On the airplane, you need to be quiet,’” Emma said. 

Emma was stunned. Not just by the woman’s behaviour, but by the assumption behind it: that her daughter would be a problem before she’d done anything at all.

There was an expectation that Odette would be naughty. That she would misbehave.

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It was decided for her. Before she’d even opened her mouth.

While waiting for her flight to board, Emma took to TikTok to explain what happened. Her video quickly gained traction.

Thousands of comments poured in. Some jumped on the familiar “children shouldn’t be allowed on planes” bandwagon. Others condemned the woman’s behaviour. Particularly the fact that she touched a child without consent.

But what Emma didn’t mention online was the quiet, heartbreaking impact that moment had on her daughter.

“We got to our accommodation that night and she said to me, ‘Mummy, I'm a good girl. I'm not a naughty girl.’ She said, ‘Why did that lady think I was naughty?’ And she was really upset,” Emma explained.

Long after the incident had passed, the emotional weight surfaced. Clearly the incident had weighed heavy on Odette’s mind. 

Odette hadn’t cried. She hadn’t shouted. She hadn’t misbehaved. But she had been judged anyway. 

"My children are always perfect on airplanes"

And all of it happened at the check-in desk. Even before the woman could be certain that Odette would be on the same flight.

Perhaps the biggest kicker? The woman had been travelling with teenage children.

Emma couldn’t help but assume that surely, at some point, this woman had stood in her shoes. Travelling with toddlers, juggling bags, and praying for a peaceful flight.

But to her surprise, the woman took the opportunity to boast about her own parenting record.

 “She said to me, ‘My children are always perfect on airplanes,’” Emma recalled.

 “And I was like, well, good for you, lady.”

Odette and Emma have been at the receiving end of unfair comments on TikTok. Image:TikTok/ emma.darrouzet.art

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The internet has a tendency to demand child-free flights and argue that disruptive children shouldn’t travel. But when those comments are made, we often forget the little ears absorbing that criticism.

Just like Odette. She isn’t aware that being a toddler on a plane is considered a crime in the court of TikTok.

But what’s worse is the hate directed at her on the video her mother made condemning the stranger’s actions.

“There’s been so much body shaming of Odette,” Emma said.

“This is why we have eating disorders. This is why we have a mental health epidemic with young girls and teenagers.”

One of the comments cut her particularly deep.

“There was a comment just this morning that said, ‘Tell the fat b**** to keep eating donuts so she ends up like her whale of a mother.’”

The impact of choosing to be nasty to a child sets off a chain of events that affect them in invisible ways.

And when Emma did what any mother would, shared the experience in her own space, on her own terms, she was met with something even uglier. Instead of support, she was bombarded with cruel, personal attacks. 

It seems that sometimes, the people quickest to judge forget the most obvious truth.

“They forget they were a child once, I think,” Emma said.

Originally published as The hidden cost of being cruel to toddlers on planes