Our 13yo neighbour saved our baby's life, then my husband did the unthinkable

"I cannot believe he is doing this. I'm disgusted."

Susie* and Lance* have a 10-month-old daughter, Isabelle*. 

"Last month we had a near-tragedy when Lance came home with Isabelle from daycare," Susie explained to Slate's advice column, Dear Prudence.

"Shortly after he pulled into the driveway, he was distracted by a phone call from work. He came into the house and forgot Isabelle inside the car. It was over 35 degrees outside. By some miracle, our next-door neighbour’s 13-year-old daughter Aubrey* was in her front garden and saw Lance pull up."

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"Had she been in there 10 minutes longer, she likely wouldn't have survived"

From what Aubrey told Susie, she went and got a hedge trimmer her dad had borrowed from the couple and came over to return it.

While walking past the car, she spotted Isabelle in her car seat. She tried to open the doors, but they were locked so she dropped the trimmer, rushed to Susie and Lance's front door, and rang the doorbell repeatedly.

"I had just gotten out of the shower and was towelling off and couldn’t answer it," the mum explained. "I later learned my husband was still on the phone in his office and had ignored it."

When Aubrey didn’t get a response, she ran back to the car and used the trimmer to smash open a window and get Isabelle out. Isabelle was unconscious by then, and Aubrey rushed her inside her house to her mother, who is a nurse.

Susie continued: "I only became aware of what was transpiring when I came downstairs and heard Aubrey’s 10-year-old brother Alex* pounding on our door and yelling for my husband and me. I opened up and was told by a terrified Alex what happened.

"We rushed over to my neighbour’s house to find Isabelle lying on their kitchen floor as Aubrey and her mother worked to cool her down with cold compresses and a portable fan. After several terror-filled minutes, Isabelle woke up and began to cry just as the ambulance arrived.

"Isabelle spent the night in the hospital for observation but, thankfully, was all right and able to go home the next day. The doctor said had she been in the car 10 minutes longer, she likely would not have survived."

Susie said she gave her husband "hell" for what happened, and he has been "nothing but remorseful."

But here comes the part that had her seeing red...

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"I cannot believe this"

"Lance’s car is customised and he treasures it," she says. "The car was a gift from his parents for his birthday. When Aubrey was breaking out the window, she put some dents in the frame and a big scratch in the paint on the door. We have insurance and only ended up with our deductible out of pocket plus around $1,000. Lance is insisting we have Aubrey’s parents reimburse us for it."

"I cannot believe this," the mum wrote. "Their daughter saved my baby’s life (she even cut her arm in the process and needed stitches!) after my husband forgot about her and he wants Aubrey’s parents to cover the damn deductible!"

Susie told him this is "disgusting" and that if there is anyone to blame for the damage to his precious car, it’s him for putting their daughter in this situation.

"His response is that Aubrey’s dad makes a lot of money, so they can easily afford it. He said he is willing to give Aubrey’s parents a chance to pay us before he takes them to court. I am sickened by the prospect and have told him so, but he won’t budge.

"What can I do to make him see reason?"

Image: IStock

"Is your husband typically emotionally clueless?"

Prudence began her response by pointing out that some major context was missing here. "Be honest, is your husband typically emotionally clueless, vindictive, and unreasonable?" she said.

"To be clear, I’m not even talking about the part where he left your daughter in the car."

She then said that his determination to get money from the neighbours was "truly shocking" before suggesting possible causes for his bizarre demand. 

"I can see two possibilities at play. He might be spiralling out of control due to guilt (and maybe some postpartum depression? Men can get it, too!) and behaving uncharacteristically. If that’s the case, he’s way overdue for therapy," she said.

"The alternative is that he’s an antisocial, ungrateful person and I’m sure you have plenty of evidence in addition to what’s in this letter that he truly can’t be reasoned with. If that sounds closer to the truth, I don’t think you’ll be able to change his mind but you might start to reevaluate whether you two have enough in common to continue to share a life."

Originally published as Our 13yo neighbour saved our baby's life, then my husband did the unthinkable