Nanny shares her controversial rules: 'I don’t play, and food is not a reward'

A UK nanny is causing a stir with her unconventional rules for childcare, but is it her place to parent the kids?

A UK-based nanny has drawn attention to TikTok for her unique childcare approach, emphasising gentle and respectful parenting. 

With years of research and expertise in child development and psychology, Isla Collins advocates that her methods are the only way to provide optimal care for children.

Her methods have left many wondering: is it a nanny’s job to parent or care for a child?

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Sleep here, there, and everywhere

One of Isla’s fundamental rules is allowing babies and toddlers to nap whenever and wherever they please. 

This approach defies traditional schedules, allowing children to rest in various settings, from their beds to the comfort of their nanny’s arms.

Isla shared her approach, stating, “I have the children nap anywhere and everywhere from day one. On me, in the car, pram, carrier, their bed… there’s no real routine to this.”

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“Just three more bites…”

Isla’s perspective on food stands in stark contrast to conventional wisdom. She refrains from forcing children to finish their meals or dictating portion sizes. 

Instead, she believes in teaching kids to listen to their bodies and hunger cues, supporting a mindful approach to eating. 

Desserts are not withheld as a reward and are sometimes served with the main meal.

“I don’t make children finish their food or tell them how much they need to eat. No ‘three more bites’ - I want to teach children to listen to their bodies and their own hunger cues,” she shared in her video, which has been viewed 100,00 times. 

“Food is not a reward. All food is good food, and sweet things are not something to put on a pedestal.”

"Just three more bites..." Source: TikTok

A focus on independent play

Parents often struggle to balance engaging with their children and managing household tasks. 

Isla’s approach to playtime involves allowing children to play independently with their toys, fostering self-sufficiency and encouraging activities such as reading and interactive play in other ways.

She explains her stance on playtime, saying, “I don’t play with them and their toys very often. We connect in other ways, like reading books and roughhousing. We do activities together and daily life tasks. I encourage independent play with their own toys. I feel the ability to play alone is invaluable.”

A different approach to discipline

Isla’s rulebook takes an entirely different approach to discipline, shunning “bad” behaviour concepts. 

She refrains from employing punitive measures like time-outs or restricting screen time due to undesirable behaviour. 

Her philosophy centres on acknowledging that all feelings are valid, even in the youngest children, emphasising understanding and processing emotions.

Isla emphasises her philosophy: “I never punish children with time outs or take away screen time because of a certain behaviour.”

I never send them to their room or put them on the ‘naughty’ step. All feelings are valid and seen. You are not ‘bad’ because you’re too young to understand how to process a certain emotion.”

Do you agree with this nanny's approach? Source: TikTok

The public weighs in

Isla’s unconventional childcare methods have garnered attention across TikTok, with thousands of parents tuning in to learn more. 

While many are impressed by her approach, there is a clear division in opinion. Some see it as a kindness, while others question its compatibility with different families and parenting philosophies.

One user commented, “I see this as being a kind human being.” 

Isla responded, “Sadly, a lot of this is the opposite of what a lot of parents and caregivers are doing, especially the food and punishment ones.”

A second user inquired, “OK, but how can you do this with other families? Many people won’t agree with this way of doing things.” 

Isla responded, “I work for families that trust me, my experience, and my training. I do everything with good reason and research behind it.”

Originally published as Nanny shares her controversial rules: 'I don’t play, and food is not a reward'