My DIL isn't getting a Christmas gift from me this year

"She's extremely picky about what goes into her home. It has to follow all of her rules," the frustrated MIL shares.

The dynamic between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can be tricky at the best of times; then throw in Christmas: shopping, prep and events... Any minor fracture will become a full-blown break.

Which is what has happened to one MIL/DIL duo, resulting in the MIL deciding to not gift the mum of her grandkids anything.

“I am so tired of this; my DIL is extremely picky about what goes into her home. It has to follow all of her rules. Can’t be from a company she doesn’t support, basically no plastic, no over stimulating colours, no small pieces, no large toys since they take up too much space,” the MIL shared online. 

“I have tried time after time to get her something she will like, I have asked for lists, but I never get any. I thought for my granddaughter’s birthday (4F) a few months ago I found the perfect wood train set, but apparently not: it was too loud for them to play with."

RELATED: I'm sick of telling my inlaws what to give their grandkids for Xmas

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But wait, there’s more 

“I tried to get her a nice knife set, but I didn’t support the company. I don’t even know what was wrong with the company (Pioneer Women Knives). It was a decent set, not super high-end.”  

As Christmas rolls around, this MIL admits she lost interest in pleasing her daughter-in-law. She has decided that no gift is better than a gift that she will criticise and want returned. 

“I reached my limit today, I got my granddaughter her own stuff for her Christmas trees in her room. I had permission to do this. We went shopping and she picked out her own light and ornaments. I bought what she wanted and it got set up. Well my DIL saw the tree she was p*ssed; too much plastic on the tree. THEY ARE ORNAMENTS, I wasn’t buying glass ones the kid could break.

“I told her I was done. I am not getting any gifts for the family because she was impossible,” the grandmother concluded in her post. 

Image: iStock

RELATED: Dear grandparents, the kids have enough stuff thanks

"DIL, you are the Grinch"

The questioned remained: is she right to scratch her daughter-in-law off her gift list?

“You have made every reasonable attempt to please someone who sees the world differently. You’ve gone out of your way to understand her preferences and act accordingly, but she keeps moving the goalposts. Your DIL needs to understand that she is responsible for 50% of a functional relationship with you, and that means not just being clear about what she doesn’t want, but being clear about what she does want,” one Redditor writes.

“You should work harder? Sheesh. The woman needs to learn some gratitude for other people's efforts. And for your granddaughter, maybe you could give her experiences and take her to fun places instead of physical presents,” snaps another. 

But then there was this perspective: “I’m the DIL who is very picky. My MIL often buys toys I find obnoxious for my LO. But, I try to give her ideas of what would be okay, and I just quietly give away things that she ignored me about. She’s being rude and setting you up to fail by not giving you ANY guidance on what would be okay. And a wooden train being too loud is ridiculous."

One MIL made this suggestion; "Either give her a cheque, a gift card, or make a charitable donation in her name. When my SIL complained about the gift card I gave her (she thinks they’re too impersonal), I switched to donating in her name to St. Jude. Only a heartless jerk would be upset about donating money to cancer kids.” 

Originally published as My DIL isn't getting a Christmas gift from me this year