My little girl will have gender disappointment big time if she gets a brother

"I have a reason for not wanting to find out until the birth just so she has a head's up."

One of the greatest taboos of pregnancy is gender disappointment. 

Many are hesitant to openly discuss the grief that can accompany it, fearing judgment or exacerbating the emotions.

For one mother, however, the concern isn’t her own reaction —it’s her young daughter’s. 

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"Desperately want the surprise" 

The four-year-old has taken to referring to her mum's growing bump as “her.”

“She regularly talks about wanting a sister,” the woman explained in an post. 

Now, she’s worried that wish could turn to grief if things don’t go her way.

Initially, the mother planned to keep the baby’s gender a surprise, but now she’s second-guessing that decision.

“We told her when I was 12 weeks pregnant and explained many times that we don’t get tot choose and it could be a boy."

But the sister-to-be refuses to accept the possibility.

“She’ll ignore this fact and continue to say things like, ‘I don’t want a brother,’ or, ‘I don’t want a baby boy,’” she shared.

The concerned mum has turned to a parenting forum for advice on whether she should find out the gender now to help her daughter adjust.

“I’m thinking that I need to budge and find out the gender so she has time to accept it if it is, in fact, a boy. I’m afraid she won’t want to bond or might dislike the baby,” she wrote.

But this decision conflicts with her own wishes.

“This kind of breaks my heart as I desperately want the surprise at the birth,” she admitted. 

Image: iStock

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"She'll have to get over it"

Opinions in the forum were mixed.

“To find out the gender of your unborn child because of a four-year-old’s reaction is, quite frankly, ridiculous,” one commenter wrote.

“She'll have to get over it like millions of other kids,” said another..

A third added: “Disappointment is part of life.” 

Others offered reassurance, advising her not to worry about the child’s initial reaction.

“She’ll be over it before the day is out and will love him or her just the same,” one person said.

“You just can’t win. I wouldn’t bother worrying about it,” another commented. 

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Some shared their own experiences of managing sibling gender disappointment.

“My daughter was desperate for a baby sister. She was told at midday that it was a boy, cried, and was over it by teatime,” one parent shared.

Another joked: “My three-year-old was furious when her sister was born because she wasn’t an apple.”

Originally published as My little girl will have gender disappointment big time if she gets a brother