'My husband suddenly changed his behaviour around the kids'

"It could be a sign of something I'd never heard of."

A few months ago, my husband started acting differently.

He'd randomly tear up during films, or get irritable with the kids.

He complains about being tired a lot, to the point where it seems abnormal. 

He also can’t seem to lose the body fat around his belly, no matter how much he exercises... and his sexual habits have changed.*

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Male menopause - andropause - what does it mean?

My husband has never been a macho kind of guy – he’s more of an easy-going, cruisy sort – so when his moods changed, especially around the kids, it was definitely new. 

Being the good wife that I am, I started doing some Dr Googling, and I discovered something called andropause.

Now, maybe I’ve been living under a rock, but I never knew andropause, often referred to as the ‘male menopause’, was a thing. 

According to the internet, andropause is an age-related decrease of testosterone in males. 

Testosterone is produced in the testes and plays an important role in fuelling sex drive and mental and physical energy, maintaining muscle mass and regulating men’s fight-or-flight response, among other jobs.

I only know that explanation after speaking with Associate Professor Darren Katz, Urologist and Medical Director at Men’s Health Melbourne - who commented that andropause was controversial.

“Debated in the medical community if this is a legitimate and distinct medical condition, this term is certainly used though in general society and is also referred to (as) ‘male menopause’,” he said.

“(The) medical community refer (to it) more as 'late-onset hypogonadism'.

“It is generally associated with gradual lowering of testosterone levels.”

Associate Professor Katz said symptoms could vary from none at all to prominent physical (weight gain, reduced sex drive, low energy, decreased bone density) and emotional (low mood, depression, irritability) symptoms.

“These symptoms though are non-specific, and often can be associated with other health conditions,” he said.

From about the age of 30, testosterone slowly declines (~1% per year). 

“That’s why it can take many years to show symptoms, especially if somebody starts with a higher-than-average testosterone level,” Associate Professor Katz said.

“Generally, though, it is men in their 50s and 60s where it starts to become apparent and about a quarter of men in their 70s have clinically low testosterone.”

Image: iStock

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"Male menopause is different to female menopause"

Associate Professor Katz said there were many differences between the female menopause and what males experience.

For one, all women eventually go through menopause, but not all men go through andropause. And secondly, menopause happens relatively quickly, whereas andropause is gradual.

For men, there are non-medical treatment options, such as increasing exercise, improving sleep and losing weight to help manage symptoms.

Testosterone-replacement therapy is also available and may come in the form of gels, creams, or injections.

Associate Professor Katz finally advised that men should consult a doctor if they want to explore any changes.

Of course, I myself am not a doctor, so I can’t be certain that my husband is going through andropause - but I’m definitely going to suggest he gets his testosterone levels checked.

That way, he’ll hopefully be able to get the support he needs.

*The information in this story relates directly to the writer's experience and does not constitute medical advice. Please seek your own professional advice for your circumstances.

Originally published as 'My husband suddenly changed his behaviour around the kids'