My husband says shopping for the groceries is a 'woman's job'

"He asked, 'can you do an online order for me?'" the woman exclusively told Kidspot.

My husband Gary* generally pulls his weight pretty well. He does his own washing, will help cook and wash up, picks up the vacuum and in comparison, to many of my friend’s partners and husbands, well, I’d say he is quite the domestic catch.

This is why an event recently took me by surprise. Actually, more than surprise, I was shocked that the words and the beliefs that obviously underpin those words came from the man I have been married to for over a decade.

And out of all things, it was because of a grocery order.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this

RELATED: I can’t kiss my husband when I’m pregnant

"What about the groceries?"

I was asked by my work to go away for a week and a half. I don’t usually have to do much travel but when it does come up, they are really important trips and not negotiable. So, as you do when you’re in a relationship, I let Gary know about the upcoming trip, how long it was for and the dates. And while I expected him to say something about it, the response I did receive was at all what I was expecting.

In fact, it was the last response I thought I’d get was about this topic.

Gary literally asked me, “What about the groceries?”

Yes, the groceries. I was gobsmacked, I mean what the? So, I just looked at him, confused, as to why out of all things he was concerned about that. I actually wondered if he’d misheard me.

“What?” I asked.

“The groceries, how will we get the groceries while you are away?” he responded.

“Well, you will have to do them,” I told him. Cue a horrified expression on Gary’s face, like literal terror. “I can't do that, that’s a woman’s job,” he told me.

And now it was my turn for a horrified expression. I couldn’t believe my ears.

“What are you talking about? Everyone does the groceries.” I replied. “It is not a woman’s job,” I added.

“Not me. I don’t know what to buy for dinners, or school lunches for the kids, I don’t know what you usually get to do all of these things. You will have to do a big shop before you go or do an online order for me. I can pick an order up,” he said as if that was some sort of fair agreement.

Source: iStock

RELATED: I ‘kidnapped’ my baby to teach my husband a lesson

"It isn't a foreign concept"

Admittedly, the groceries are one thing I always did. I think it had been this way because I actually kind of enjoy doing them, especially because I insist on doing it alone, so I get a bit of quiet time even if it is while purchasing food and supplies for the family. Despite this, I didn’t think doing a grocery shop would be an issue while I was away, I mean everyone goes to Woolies or Coles to get supplies, it isn’t a foreign concept.

But I honestly couldn’t believe my husband was saying this to me. There was so much wrong with it from the absolute chauvinistic meaning behind it, something I never thought I hear from Gary and the fact that a grown man was seemingly afraid to do the groceries.

Gary and I ended up going back and forth on this ridiculous issue for days. Or some reason he just got really stuck on it and nothing I said to him seemed to make any difference. It was like grocery shopping was the Mount Everest of obstacles in his life, despite this being such a commonplace task. It was just absurd.

In the end, ashamedly, I was the one who backed down. Not because I wanted to, not because I wanted to further contribute to this absolutely sexist view, he has but because I knew I couldn’t rely on him to do it. While I didn’t really care if Gary went hungry, I did care about the kids so with them in mind I placed an online order for Gary to pick up it included lunchbox snacks and ingredients for lunches, and dinners the kids would like (but not Gary) and the essentials like toilet paper.

I ‘forgot’ Gary’s usual snack and drink order and none of his go-to meals made the list either.

And interestingly, when I got home after the trip, Gary said he would come with me next shop so he could learn for next time (it seems I finally got through after all).

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

Originally published as My husband says shopping for the groceries is a 'woman's job'