My family is stupidly wealthy, but they refuse to help out when I’m struggling
“It just perplexes me, though, as I am a mum myself, I know I wouldn't see my daughters in the position I'm in.”
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The cost-of-living crisis is affecting everybody, as Diana* and her family know.
Living on the bare minimum for nearly 15 years, Diana*, her husband Neil* and their tween daughters make plenty of sacrifices to get by.
But if you saw how the rest of her family lived, you’d think they were from entirely different worlds.
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“My wealthy mum doesn’t offer any help to me”
“We have no extra money for treats or holidays or anything nice,” she explained on Mumsnet.
At Christmas, she will sell some of her stuff so she can afford to buy their kids gifts, and they frequently have to skimp on essentials like heating.
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“I've not had one penny from her since I started working at 16,” she added. “Our house is tiny, in a rough part of town. We have no meals out, no takeaways, no holidays.”
Her mother, Pauline*, on the other hand, is absolutely loaded.
“My Mum is worth a few million quid,” she said, adding she takes “several luxury holidays a year, always flying business class.”
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Diana’s mum, who is almost 80 years old, also has several properties to her name.
“I think, at the last count, she had eight properties,” Diana said.
While a few of these properties she had purchased on her own, “some of these were gifted to her” from her parents.
And all the while, Pauline “doesn’t offer any help to me.”
As Diana watches her mum jet off across the globe with her boyfriend, who she “treats a lot”, Diana is left watching from a distance, unable to afford to keep food in her kids’ mouths.
“She has been known to spend our monthly food shopping budget on one night out for dinner and cocktails,” she said. “She then talks about this, and will even say that she has spent on one meal what we probably spend in a month on food.”
Whenever the family spends time together, Diana is left feeling out of pocket. “We go out for lunch now and then, and she never treats me,” she said. “I always have to pay my half.”
“I am now 56 years old, and she is almost 80,” she said. “She is fighting fit healthwise, and all of the women in the family live until about 100 years old.”
While Diana knows she’ll likely inherit some of her mum’s properties and money when the time comes, it doesn’t do anything to help her now.
“I will most likely be in my 70s at that time, which is not really when I’m going to need the money,” she said.
“I know Mum isn't duty-bound to give me anything and that's why I'd never ask,” she added.
“It just perplexes me, though, as I am a mum myself, I know I wouldn't see my [daughters] in the position I'm in.”
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“My word, you are so entitled!”
The Mumsnet community were divided in their opinion of the situation, with some failing to understand how a mother could ignore their child’s obvious cries for help.
“I couldn't know my [child] were struggling while I was living in luxury,” someone wrote.
“I’d never watch my children struggle if I could help them,” another agreed. “She sounds mean, and it baffles me how some people refuse to help their children.”
“I don’t understand your mother’s behaviour,” said a third. “There’s zero wealth in my family, we’re working class. But I cannot imagine not sharing what we do have with our children when they are adults if they are struggling.”
But others disagreed, arguing it was Pauline’s right to spend her money however she pleased.
“It's obviously hugely frustrating for you [Diana], but the fact is it's her money and her choice,” read a comment.
“My word, you are so entitled!” someone declared. “You are responsible for yourself now you are an adult, you should not expect handouts from mummy.”
“I have friends whose adult children have failed to take responsibility for their own lives at 32 years old," someone said.
“My friend is still bailing her son out - and he thinks that’s her job - that she is responsible for him till she dies.”
*Names have been changed
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Originally published as My family is stupidly wealthy, but they refuse to help out when I’m struggling