My dad set me on fire and killed my 5yo son, but he won’t spend a day in jail

The Tamworth mum-of-two recalls the horrific moment her father set her alight and killed her 5yo son and mother. Warning: Confronting content.

Alexandra Feiam

4 min read

October 30, 2023 - 1:48PM

Family Life

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A mum has recounted the horrific moment her father doused her in petrol and killed her son and mother.

It was in the early hours of 17 October 2019 when mum-of-two Natalie Sands was awoken to the sound of her father, Richard, kicking down the bedroom door of their Tamworth home.

Holding a jerry can, he doused his daughter and coated the room in 10 litres of petrol.

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Natalie suffered burns to 80 per cent of her body. Source: 60 Minutes

“I was screaming at him: ‘Dad, don't do this! I’ve got two beautiful kids in that room’”

“I had hold of his shoulders around his neck, and I was just driving him backwards, pushing him away from my kids,” she told 60 Minutes.

“I was screaming at him: 'Dad, don't do this! Don't do this!' [I’ve] got two beautiful kids in that room. I said, 'Don't do this,' and he just wouldn't stop.”

He had a red lighter in his hand and attempted to light it five times, each time, Natalie blew out the flame.

“But the sixth time he lit it, as soon as he lit it, he pushed it into my chest, and that was it, and it just went whoosh, and the whole house ignited,” she said.

Flames engulfed the entire house. Source: Change.org

“I had to accept that there was nothing I could do”

Her two sons were asleep in another room, and her eldest, who cannot be named for legal reasons, managed to escape the house fire.

Natalie’s youngest son, five-year-old Orlando, sadly wasn’t as lucky.

The mum’s entire body was up in flames, meaning she was physically unable to grab her son without burning him alive.

"I went into the bedroom and I tried to close the door to give myself time, but this big ball of flames came up the top of the door," she said.

"I looked over to the left and I seen him laying there and I just thought, if I grab him, I’m going to burn him and it was just happening so fast."

She jumped out of a window and rolled on the grass to extinguish the fire. "I didn’t realise how badly burned I was, I didn’t realise how high the window was, I was just trying to get back in that room," she recalled.

“I can see him. I can see him on the bed, laying there, fast asleep, and it was just like a wave on a beach, but it was a wave of fire.”

“I had to accept that there was nothing I could do.”

Natalie suffered burns to 80 percent of her body and was in hospital for a week before waking again.

It was then she learned her father had murdered her mother Antoinette before he set the house alight.

Natalie's 5yo son Orlando (left) and mother Antoinette (right) were killed. Source: 60 Minutes

Tamworth dad found not criminally responsible for deaths

Soon after, Richard turned himself in to the police and confessed, but he will not face trial.

He was charged with two counts of murder, two counts of intent to murder, one count of intent to destroy property, and one count of intent to endanger.

However, the NSW Supreme Court found Richard not criminally responsible for the death of Natalie’s mum and son.

He was diagnosed with a depressive disorder and a neurodegenerative disease and was instead sent to a mental health facility.

“He's won,” Natalie told 60 Minutes. “That's what it felt like, that he'd gotten away with murder.”

Former Supreme Court Judge Anthony Whealy argued prison time wouldn’t help Richard’s circumstances.

“What else could we do?” asked Whealy. “Put the person to death who committed the crime when they're insane and not responsible for their actions?”

“We don't do that anymore. Lock them away like we did 100 years ago in an attic somewhere? That's not humane. So, this is a problem that can't be resolved, no matter how much sympathy we feel for the victim.”

According to the 60 Minutes report, Richard has had the privilege of day releases for the past six months.

“If someone is that [mentally unwell] that they've gone and slaughtered their own family, then why are you letting them out in the street back into the community?” Natalie asked.

She has started an online petition to raise awareness for other victims facing similar circumstances.

“I don't want this to just end in tragedy and sadness because what's the point otherwise?" she asked. "If I'm not here fighting, what's the point?”

“I only have two reasons why I'm alive, one is my son, and two is to try and do something better than what's already happening. It's a lifetime challenge, but I'm really up for it, I am. I'm not gonna stop.”