My 7o has to sign forms to attend after-school care

"She won't sign. She hates it. I even tried to forge her signature and was busted when the school questioned her."

A mum has been left at her "wit's end" after trying to convince her reluctant daughter to go to after-school care.

"I am a single parent in a horrible after-school situation with my daughter (seven). I need advice on what to do," she begins her post in an online parenting group. 

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"It's just not working"

The daughter hates going to after-school care, claims it's "too tiring," and consistently comes home in a "cranky and volatile mood."

"I tried to give her an inch and decided we'd skip the after-school program and do regular pick-up starting last year," the mum, whose location is unclear, explains.

"I WFH, and it wasn't easy having her home while I was working in the afternoons, but we muddled through."

However, this year, she's in year two, and the mum says it's been a nightmare and "a battleground" every day. 

"She says she hates school. Add on that she demands attention all afternoon.

"I've scheduled in 30 minutes of uninterrupted quality time as soon as we get home to meet her attention needs but she still has a colossal meltdown when I need to get back to work, and intentionally tries to annoy me until I give her attention again (kicking my chair, laying under my desk and pinching my ankles, standing directly behind me and breathing in my ear because she knows it freaks me out, etc.).

"It's just not working, and being exhausted from after-school care is surely better than the misery we're both feeling daily.

"I warned her weeks ago that if this doesn't get better, I'm signing her up again."

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"We're back to square one"

What makes the situation harder for the mum is that after-school care is free in her location - so it makes even more sense that her daughter attends.

But there's a major hitch.

"So my seven-year-old has to agree and sign two forms contractually consenting to be in the program in order for me to enrol her," she says.

"She, of course, is refusing to sign.

"I tried to submit to the office without her signature and they said it's required, no exceptions. I tried to forge her signature (not my best parenting move), and apparently, they pulled her aside during school to answer any questions she might have before she started the program, and she told them she didn't want to participate and 'never would've signed the stupid forms.'

"So the jig is up, and we're back to square one."

"How can I make this better? I'm sick of the fighting after school and would love guidance on how to parent an ADHD kiddo so things can feel more peaceful and loving around here again.

"I feel totally and completely unequipped to parent her in the way she needs and communicate/set boundaries in a way that is compatible with who she is as a tiny human with ADHD."

Image: iStock

"She has to sign forms??"

In the comments, people were baffled that the after-school program required child consent.

"I'm sorry what on earth? How can an afterschool program deny you enrollment because a seven-year-old won't sign off on it? That makes absolutely no sense.

"This cannot be real that they'd leave you without childcare on the whims of a seven-year-old."

Others agreed: "It’s absolutely insane for them to require a seven-year-old’s signature."

Parents also advise the mum to "address the root cause" and treat her daughter's ADHD.

"Nothing will get better if you don't," one person said.

This woman implored the mum to help her daughter: "I wish desperately I had been medicated when I was younger. I slipped through the cracks and was diagnosed with autism and ADHD as an adult, long after I could have fixed the agonies of school."

Originally published as My 7o has to sign forms to attend after-school care