My wife 'brainwashed' our daughter to become vegan for her body image

"She deliberately appealed to our girl with talk of veganism being 'heathier' for your weight," the frustrated dad tells Kidspot.

My wife *Lisa has been a vegan for around three years, and she was a vegetarian for a decade before that.

At the heart of her decision to refrain from eating or using animal products of any kind, including clothing, furniture and food is her very strong beliefs around animal welfare and animal rights.

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In Lisa’s eyes it is our job as humans to help advocate for animals because they can’t do it themselves and this, she says, is "the least we can do".

While I’ve always been supportive of her values and her decision to follow veganism and vegetarianism, I have made my own choice to continue to eat meat, something which she really dislikes.

For a good year Lisa persistently attempted to persuade me to join her and become vegan but despite spruiking veganism and every possible advantage of it - especially ones that I might have particularly benefited from such as weight loss.  But she had no success and stopped.

Not too long after this, though, she decided to move onto our eight-year-old daughter, *Holly. 

Image: iStock

Using graphic documentaries to brainwash

Lisa began her vegan brainwashing of Holly by showing her Cowspiracy, the documentary that many people state as their “turning point” in choosing veganism. Lisa followed up by also showing her various live export videos and other abhorrent clips of animals with poor living conditions or being inhumanely slaughtered.

The images and scenes were often extremely graphic - much too graphic if you ask me - for an eight-year-old to view. Yet, despite me raising my concerns about this with Lisa, I was shut down; she just told me that these scenes may be hard to watch but in the end that is real life and ultimately it is the truth, so why can’t she see them?

“We need to see the fault of our ways to make change,” she told me.

Cowspiracy is just one of the graphic docos my wife showed our eight-year-old. Image: Cowspiracy.

Preying on our daughter's body image insecurity

But it’s not just the age inappropriateness of these videos that angered me, it was also the fact my wife began promoting the health benefits of veganism as if she was marketing for some sort of multi-level marketing pyramid scheme.

At every opportunity she would bring up and discuss these benefits with Holly. Then Lisa would continually tell Holly how being vegan will help her achieve and keep a healthy body weight because “plant-based foods are healthier”. She did this not solely because she thought this was the truth but because she knew that this would get to Holly.

Yes, she purposely appealed to her own daughter’s appearance and body image insecurities in an attempt to convince her to become vegan. 

"She's now forever the odd one out"

Ultimately, Lisa’s vegan brainwashing worked; Holly is now an eight-year-old vegan and nothing I seem to do or say changes Holly’s mind. Now about six months in, Holly’s veganism is so full-on that not only does she flat out refuse to eat any animal products, she also decided to donate all of her clothing and toys that were made from any animal derived products - ones that she already had and previously adored - to charity.

She has even started to take on the pro-vegan advocate role herself by talking about it at every chance with her own friends, something I don’t really think a Grade 3 student should be doing.

In all honesty, it seems like Holly becoming vegan has done more harm than good because now that she’s on such a strict diet and has such strong views about the subject matter, it means she’s often segregated from her friends and within social situations at school. Kids don’t understand it; many events the school holds like barbecues, or even the canteen menu, don’t support it and she’s forever the odd one out or getting into arguments with friends based on the issue.

"I know I am not a controlling husband or father"

I’m so angry at my wife for creating this situation, not only because of how she did it but because Holly is far too young to be able to make her own real decision about such a major issue. She is also far too young to be eating a vegan diet for that matter.

While Lisa does do the right thing and takes Holly to have regular blood tests to check iron and vitamin levels, I am still extremely reserved about having my daughter on a vegan diet because there just hasn’t been enough research into it. This worries me for Holly and her health and development and, to be honest, it’s creating a lot of friction between Lisa and I.

In the end I know I am not a controlling husband or father, I am actually quite respectful and open, even to things I don’t necessarily agree with myself. I have supported my wife’s veganism for years without issue. But when she went against my very strong feelings about our daughter becoming vegan, and did so without hesitation, she just took it too far.

All I want is for Holly to have a normal childhood and to grow up healthy; ultimately, I just don’t think veganism is the way for this to happen.

Originally published as My wife 'brainwashed' our daughter to become vegan for her body image