Is the cost of living killing off the stay-at-home mum?

The cost of living crisis is killing off one of Australia’s oldest and most coveted jobs and it could impact your future plans.

Stay-at-home mum is a job becoming extinct in Australia thanks to the rising cost of living.

According to the Bureau of Statics, the average weekly income for a man working full time in Australia is $1,907.10, which works out to be about $90,000 a year.

$90,000 for a single person to live off is plenty, but if that wage is meant to support yourself, your partner and child perhaps even plural, children – it isn’t exactly going to be easy financially.

Inflation is over 7 per cent, interest rates have been rising for the past 10 consecutive months and rents across Australia have risen 5 per cent since last year.

Australians who own instead of rent are looking at paying back an average of $13,000 more yearly thanks to rate rises.

According to Finder, the average loan is around $600,000, and that means people are paying back around $1,111 a month in mortgage repayments, and that could increase.

So how do families still do it?

Well, while the stay-at-home mum role might be slowly disappearing like our beloved platypus there are still some of the rare species around.

Rebecca is a stay at home mum. Source: Instagram

Rebecca lives in Brisbane and is a stay-at-home mum to her three children. Her partner is a team leader at a construction company and earns a decent wage, but when I ask her how they make it work on only one income, she jokes, “On a prayer”.

The reality isn’t by praying.

Instead Rebecca is diligent about budgeting and living modestly.

“It is a just a matter of budgeting when doing the grocery shop; also for shoes and clothing for kids, it’s mostly places like Kmart, Big W, etc., as they always have specials on,” she explained.

For Rebecca and her family, the plan was always that she would stay home and that decision was partly to avoid the high childcare costs. Childcare in Australia is famously expensive and can cost anything from $70 to $180 daily.

Rebecca also home schools her eldest child because he is on the spectrum, and she finds

cutting out school fees, and day-care charges make it a doable choice.

Even with making those savvy decisions, Rebecca is always conscious of the cost of living.

“It feels like I constantly have to make sure money is going to all the important stuff first, and trying to save can be hard too so just that feeling of always having to check and double-check we are on top of things,” she explained.

If her budget isn’t balancing, she also knows how to make cuts, “Sometimes hubby and I might have to cut back on date nights because money needs to go to bills, groceries or petrol.”

Rebecca loves being home with her family. Source: Instagram

Mel can also focus on her art while being a stay at home mum. Source: Instagram

Melanie, who is based in Sydney and has two children, admits that staying home means her family haven’t done certain things like own a flashy car or own a home, but it isn’t a decision she regrets.

Her husband works full-time as a tattoo artist, and that work can be spaced out over six days, meaning someone needs to have the flexibility to care for their children and it gives her time to focus on her art.

Still, living on one salary is challenging, and Melanie’s found the answer is to live without trying to keep up with anyone.

“We don’t follow trends. Whether it’s in our home decor, cars, clothing, hairstyles etc. We never feel that we have to have the newest thing out or the best brand in store. We don’t compete or compare. We just be ourselves. We like what we like and encourage our kids to do the same. As a result, we don’t spend money on certain things,” she explained.

Still not all stay-at-homes are going without.

Amy* is a stay-at-home mum of two children in Perth, but she isn’t making any big scarifies to stay home.

“My partner is high-income earner, plus we have savings and investments,” she explained.

Losing Amy’s salary wasn’t a huge loss because her wage wasn’t used to contribute to bills or rent.

Even with Amy’s husband’s high wage, she does admit they’ve chosen to keep renting so they aren’t a slave to mortgage interest rates, and she can stay home without worrying about money.

Amy does realise though, that the decisions they are making now that work for their current situation might not be a smart financial plan long-term.

“I do worry about not contributing to my super, I worry about not owning our own home for retiring later. But having me raising our kids and keeping them out of childcare is far too important to us than preparing for an easier retirement,” she said.

Mel is also an artist. Source: Instagram

So are mothers only working now because they need to now financially?

Well no, but realistically two incomes in modern day Australia is easier when it comes to paying bills and living without money stress.

For Emma, returning to work after having children wasn’t a choice but a given because she was the primary earner.

“I am currently the provider in my relationship but even if I wasn’t, I don’t think someone

staying home is viable. Honestly, I don’t know anyone that could not be working

with how expensive everything is right now,” she explained.

Emma also shared that she doesn’t know anyone in her broader circle that can afford to have children and not work for years.

For Sharmayne, she decided to return from matarnity leave early because she could rely on her partner. .

“Originally I planned to take 12 months off but ended up going back after 8 months to a new job. The main reason for me going back was that my husband and I transitioned into parenthood quite well, his work was really understanding and he worked from home the whole time I was on mat leave.

“He also has good paternity leave so as I went back to work earlier than planned he was able to take his leave, it was such a nice way for me to go back to work knowing our son was spending time with dad.”

However, Sharmayne also made it clear that she’d always planned to focus on her work after having a baby.

“I get a lot of satisfaction out of my career and after being on mat leave I knew I needed to go back to work for my self identity and mental wellness,” she said.

A sweet family snap o fSharmayne’s family. Source: supplied.

For Eleni, a mother of two, having children and returning to work was necessary and not just for the cash, she loves her work.

In fact even before she had kids, she knew she’d continue to work.

“Even before I had kids, I knew I’d still want to work after. I know it’s not for everyone, and I really take my hat off to stay-at-home mums and have a huge respect for them - I like the balance of doing both.”

“I also love being independent. You never know when life might throw you a curve ball. I enjoy my work world and my mum world. It works for me, she said.

For Eleni, working is a massive part of her identity and not something she was ever prepared to sacrifice.

“Even if I won the lottery, I’d still work! I love my career, I love being a mum - I love the balance - and I love being a role model for my kids. It’s empowering being a supermom, being able to juggle everything. And yes, the (mental) load sometimes catches up with me - but I have other outlets to help with that too,” she said.

There’s no doubt that as the cost of living continues to rise and if wage growth stays slow in Australia the option of being a stay at home is going to become less of an option and more a dream for families.

Soon spotting a stay-at-home mum in the wild might be as rare as stumbling across a Tasmanian devil.

Originally published as Is the cost of living killing off the stay-at-home mum?