'I wish I hadn't married a man with a well paying job'

"I work part time, but sometimes I wish I had the luxury of working more."

Money can’t buy happiness, and one mother believes that she’s the living proof. 

She says her husband’s well-paying job has come at an incredibly sad cost—her own career.

“My husband earns well, not loads, but realistically it’s always going to be more than me. It naturally means my career has had to take a back seat while I'm at home with the kids,” she explained.  

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"No additional support - it lands on me" 

She acknowledges that her lifestyle differs from others.

“I know some manage without any compromises,” she said. 

“But we’ve got no additional support, and someone does need to do the child-related things. This lands on me.”

Currently, the mother works part-time, but she isn’t satisfied.

“Sometimes I wish I had the luxury of working more,” she said.  "I miss my job and independence."

Taking to a mums’ forum, she sought closure. However, responses were divided.

Image: iStock

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"A lifestyle choice"

However, comments were completely divided by her dilemma. 

“I don’t follow the logic. Why does him earning well mean your career has to take a back seat? Millions of couples both have high-earning jobs!” one commenter wrote.

“That’s a lifestyle choice then. You could choose more equality in your relationship, more time with the kids for him, and less money overall,” another argued.

But for the family, the solution isn’t so straightforward. 

“Could I insist he quit his job? I’m not sure I could. A reluctant and resentful stay-at-home dad or part-time one? Hardly a good idea,” she said.

Some commenters empathised with her concerns, while others questioned why the issue wasn’t addressed before having children.

“I mean, if you went into marriage and parenthood with him knowing this, then what did you think would happen when children came along?” one person asked.

To this, she admitted her oversight.

“I’ll hold my hands up and admit I was very naive. I didn’t estimate how much children take,” she confessed. 

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Almost all of the solutions offered weren’t a feasible fit.

The family can’t afford a nanny, they can’t move to find better childcare options, and the mother can’t work from home.

“I think you can recognise this is best for everyone at the moment, but also be a bit frustrated by it,” she said. 

Originally published as 'I wish I hadn't married a man with a well paying job'