‘I send my son to his dad’s house in ratty clothes to get revenge’

“I got fed up because his stepmum took his clothes and gave them to her son, sending my child home in too-small hand-me-downs," the mum reveals. 

Blended families are tricky under most circumstances.

Sometimes things get downright ugly, and sometimes pettiness prevails.

Take Claire’s* situation. The mum-of-one shares her son Patrick 50-50 with her ex-husband, and she noticed a strange phenomenon every time she sent Patrick over to his dad’s.

“My ex has remarried and has a stepson that is two years younger than our son, but about the same size,” she explained in a Reddit post.

“The problem is that my son has been coming home wearing clothes that are more suited to a younger boy.

“When his clothes get dirty, instead of washing them or giving them back to me dirty, they dress him in his stepbrother’s clothes.”

At first, Claire decided to be nice, so she washed the clothes and returned them, again sending Patrick in his own clothes.

“After a few months of this I gave up. He wore his brand new Minecraft t-shirt over and came home with a plain t-shirt.”

That was the last straw for the mum, who said she pays for a lot of Patrick’s clothing even though custody is shared and the dad doesn’t pay child support.

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Claire realised Patrick was coming home in his stepbrother's clothes, and all his nice things were being kept at his dad's. Photo: iStock

Mum sends son to dad’s house in ratty clothes

“I went over and asked for all of my son’s clothes that they had. I waited while they collected everything,” she said.

“They brought it out to the car and said I was being an a**hole because they are brothers and it is normal to share clothes.”

Claire started sending Patrick in “ratty clothes. Torn jeans, stained shirts”.

“Now they are mad because ‘it looks like they are poor’ and they are having to buy him clothes. Since he has 50 percent custody he is supposed to be doing that anyway.”

She said that Patrick is now happy because he has nice clothes at both homes, but she wasn’t sure if she’d done the right thing.

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Reddit weighs in on clothing debate

Those with experiences in similar situations weighed in.

“I have seen this so many times,” one person said. “Parent A buys child clothes, Parent B keeps them and sends child back with beat-up clothes. Sometimes Parent B deliberately keeps the nicest stuff so child looks good… Parent A has to buy more or be one-upped. You are under no obligation to send your child in ‘nice’ clothes, or contribute to the wardrobe of his stepbrother.”

“This happened with my ex,” said another. “I would send my daughter in well-fitting and weather-appropriate clothes, she’d come back in s**t that was several sizes too small… my ex would keep all her good clothes.”

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Commenters were in support of Claire.

“Good going mum, you have your son’s back and he knows it,” said one person.

One person said that the parents needed clear boundaries.

“There needs to be a firm agreement on how school expenses, extracurriculars, medical bills, and clothes are to be handled,” they said.

*Names have been changed. 

Originally published as ‘I send my son to his dad’s house in ratty clothes to get revenge’