'I refuse to make my kid an Easter hat for a parade at kindy'

"If my friend doesn’t make her daughter one, she won’t be able to participate in the Easter hat parade." 

It’s nearly the Easter long weekend, and the spirit of chocolate is upon us. 

Soon, the Easter bunny will visit, and my toddlers will enter into a sugar high so intense they see stars. I’m looking forward to four days of relaxing, eating, drinking, and enjoying the stash of Lindt eggs I’ve told my kids are too “spicy” for them to eat (so sue me).

But before we reach that break, we have to contend with a tradition that strikes fear into the hearts of parents everywhere: the Easter hat parade.

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"The perfect balance of parental input, ie. none"

Now, my kids are still in daycare and preschool, and their Easter hat parade is, in my view, perfect.

The kids have spent the past week making their Easter hats, with zero input from me, and will have a parade on Thursday, which I am not expected to attend. They’re both really looking forward to it, and I’ve been given description of incredible Easter hat works-in-progress which I’ll only have a chance to compare with reality in photographs distributed after the event itself.

Kudos to my amazing daycare for striking the perfect level of parental input, i.e. none.

So you can imagine my surprise when I mentioned this cute little Easter hat parade to a friend with a child in kindergarten, and she told me that she was making her daughter’s Easter hat. At home. With no teacher assistance. Because that was the expectation of all the parents.

If my friend (or, to be fair, her husband or a very helpful grandparent) doesn’t make her daughter an Easter hat, then she won’t be able to participate in the Easter hat parade.

Image: Supplied

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Worse still, my friend reported that the effort the other parents were going to was enormous. She fully expects the school’s parade to be full of professional-level Easter bonnets, complete with live chicks and real hopping bunnies. (Well, maybe not, but who knows? Some parents really go above and beyond).

I'm sorry, but I simply won't be doing that when my kids start big school. I just don’t have the time. To start with, I have a job, and then the basic “keeping my kids alive” stuff takes up almost all the remaining hours of the day.

"Frankly, I have better things to do"

It’s not that I don’t enjoy craft, but rather that if I wanted to do something creative, I would indulge in one of my own creative hobbies, not make a hat for one-time wear which will inevitably end up in the bin. Let’s be real: most kindergarteners are just as likely to accidentally tread on an Easter hat as they are to wear one with pride, and the cost/benefit analysis on the work involved does not appeal to me.

When there’s no time pressure, and no other parents to compete with, I actually love doing art projects with my kids. Sign me up for a spontaneous afternoon of painting, or a fun morning cutting out shapes and colouring them in. That all sounds right up my alley, because it’s in my control, and not being forced upon me by a parade that I inevitably won’t be able to take time off work to go and watch.

I don’t want an activity I really enjoy with my kids to become a means to an end, where we need to keep creating things to meet arbitrary school deadlines, rather than just enjoying ourselves. Maybe that’s what being a big-school mum means, but if so, I am absolutely not ready.

I’m not sure what my solution to the BYO-Easter hat will be when the time comes, but I know for certain it doesn’t involve me spending hours making a hat.

Frankly, I have better things to do.

Originally published as 'I refuse to make my kid an Easter hat for a parade at kindy'