‘I let my kids use screens for 10 hours a day; I’m saving heaps on childcare’

“Being a kid is not all about playing in the park any more … Times change and trolls need to catch up,” says mum-of-two Jay. 

A mum has hit out at trolls who labelled her a “bad mother” for letting her kids spend the entire day on screens during school holidays. 

Jay is a “screen-time mum”, a label she has lovingly given herself, who lets her kids spend the entire day scrolling their phones, playing on their tablets or parked in front of the TV.

The mum will sometimes go an entire day without seeing her two children, and frankly, she wouldn’t have it any other way.  

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Jay lets her son Frankie use screen for 10 hours a day during the school holidays. Picture: Apex/The Sun

“Call me a bad mum, but it’s the best decision I ever made”

During school holidays, her two kids, 15-year-old Mia and Frankie, seven, are “glued” to a screen. 

Her eldest will usually be found watching Stranger Things on her tablet, while Frankie can be heard “[cheering] loudly from the depths of his homemade fort of pillows in the living room, having won his 50th Mario Kart race in a row”.

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Jay admitted to The Sun that this would happen for up to 10 hours every day. 

In Australia, 40 per cent of children aged between five and 14 spend 10-19 hours on screen-based activities per week, which is roughly one to three hours per day.  

“Call me a bad mum, but it’s the best decision I ever made,” the British mum confessed. 

And she has copped a fair share of backlash for her “relaxed” approach to parenting, frequently “being bombarded by so-called ‘perfect’ mums” who accuse her of being a “bad mother” and living a “sad life”. 

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“They can troll me all they want. I refuse to feel guilty,” she defiantly hit back. “My friends have never judged me because, let’s face it, they do it, too.”

Jay's son Frankie was first introduced to screens at the age of three and has been bonded to them ever since. When school holidays hit, you’ll likely find her kids sitting on the couch, watching TV or playing video games. 

“[Frankie] plays online games like Roblox with his friends and watches crazy YouTube videos, from parkour to surfing and scooter tricks,” she said. “He switches the TV on at 6am each morning when my husband Simon, 38, a tradesman, leaves for work. And he switches it off again half an hour before bed.”

You can usually find her eldest, 15yo Mia, watching Netflix or chatting online with her friends, barely leaving the house. 

Jay argued that her kids deserve it. “It is the holidays, and they are so healthy during term time, so why not have a treat?” she asked. “If they want to be on their screens all day, I won’t stop them. They deserve their screen time, and I deserve a break.”

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Jay refuses to let trolls make her feel guilty for her parenting choices. Picture: Apex/The Sun

“Times change and trolls need to catch up”

While she might not be strict with the amount of time her kids use screens, she certainly isn’t lax about the content they consume. “I know what you are thinking, and no, I don’t let the kids watch anything violent or adult content,” she revealed. 

She has installed parental controls on her children’s devices, which gives her a sense of relief knowing “the content they are viewing is safe for their age”.

Despite other activities being on offer, such as doing “crafts or sports” or even just going outside, the kids would rather be in the house. “Being a kid is not all about playing in the park any more,” Jay said. “Times change, and trolls need to catch up.” 

But it’s not all video games and TV, Jay stressed, explaining that she enjoys taking her kids outside during the school holidays, whether it's spending time at the zoo or running around a theme park. 

“But we are not made of money,” she said. “Six weeks is a long time for working parents who don’t have the luxury of nannies or spare cash for kids’ clubs.”

And without screen time, she said the kids would be “bored” and “screaming in your ear”. 

“My two can be so engrossed in their screens [that] they won’t talk or even react to me all day,” she said. “It’s bliss.” While they’re wrapped up in their games and online chats, Jay will turn into “supermum”. 

“As well as doing multiple loads of washing, I prepare dinner, clean the whole house and do a full day’s work — without interruption,” she said. 

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"If your child is happy, loved and cared for, that is enough." Picture: Apex/The Sun

Mum says parents who deny kids screen time are “selfish”

In Jay’s eyes, her children spending hours a day in front of screens is no different to kids playing video games in the ‘80s and ‘90s. “I guarantee every adult who judges me spent their childhood playing a Sega Mega Drive for hours on end,” she hit out. “Did it do us any harm? Absolutely not.”

She argued it was the rise of social media that changed the discourse about children and screen time. “Back then, no one was judged because there was no social media to enable others to shame you,” Jay wrote.  

But after sharing her parenting choices on TikTok, she was bombarded with hateful comments who claimed she was “overstimulating” her children and single-handedly ruining their sleep. 

“My kids sleep just fine, thank you,” Jay responded. “I am sure being on screens 24/7 might harm our kids’ brains, but not a couple of days a week.”

Despite a few of her friends saying that screen time made their kids “worse”, Jay believes she “must be lucky”, as her children “never kick-off when it is time to turn their screens off”.

If they weren’t behaving this way, she’d have a different approach. But her heart hurts for the kids who are “well-behaved” but denied the use of screens, as they may be missing out on “the latest TikTok trend”. 

She went so far as to say it could be “selfish” if the parent denies their children screen time.

“If you have denied your child screen time, they could feel lonely, get bullied and even become resentful towards you,” she said. “So you’re the one being selfish.”

“If your child is not interested in screens, fine,” Jay concluded. “But if you are a “screen time mum”, do not feel pressured to bow to other people’s rules.

“If your child is happy, loved and cared for, that is enough.”

Originally published as ‘I let my kids use screens for 10 hours a day; I’m saving heaps on childcare’