‘I hate organising holidays with kids, I’m sick of carrying the mental load’

“That would be my cue to go book myself a room and leave them to fend for themselves.”

Holidays are supposed to be relaxing, enjoyable and a time to recentre yourself before returning to the harsh reality of life.

But for many parents, the idea of organising a holiday sounds like more trouble than it’s worth. 

This is especially true for mum-of-two Alexis, who had it up to her eyeballs after trying to organise a trip away with her family. 

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“I have been the only one to put in all the effort in planning this trip”

“I'm on a family vacation right now with my two teenagers and my husband,” she set the scene.

The family of four landed from their flight late the evening before, arriving at the airport shortly after midnight. 

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“We think we got in at like 12:15 a.m. and headed to get a rental car, and then got to our Airbnb,” she continued in the clip.

“And I am frustrated.” 

In the lead-up to the holiday, Alexis booked a “small SUV” for the family to drive throughout their trip, but when they arrived, they quickly realised there wasn’t enough room for their luggage. 

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“So, ultimately, we decided to upgrade,” she said. “But not without comments about how 'mum is so cheap' and 'she got a small car' and this and that.”

Things only got worse when they arrived at the Airbnb, which was three storeys high and lacked an elevator. 

“It's a lot of stairs. I'm not going to lie,” she said. “It's a lot of stairs and sleeping arrangements are not like perfect-slash-ideal, but they're fine. Everybody has a bed. We're safe. Whatever.”

But that didn’t stop a barrage of ridicule spewing from her kids’ mouths.

“Oh my God,” they reportedly said. “Mum is never going to be in charge of booking the Airbnb again.”

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Alexis was fed-up with "shouldering the mental load" on her family trip. Picture: thefairyjobmom/Instagram

Earlier in the video, Alexis explained that “as a mum, I organised everything” for the holiday, and before she booked anything - be it a place to eat, a fun activity, or even somewhere to sleep - she always made sure to “ask for input” from her husband and the kids. 

“I asked for input probably 50 times,” she said, explaining she asked them about the “things they wanted to do.” 

“Did they have any input on where they want to stay? Where they want to eat? Anything; any input.”

But they offered her nothing. In fact, they all said the same thing: “Nope. We're good. Whatever you want, mum. I don't care. Okay. I don't care.”

Naturally, Alexis was fed up. “Great,” she said sarcastically. “Glad I'm planning this vacation for everybody to not care.”

After the first (!) day of their holiday, Alexis was over it; only one day in, and she was ready to hang up the towel. 

“This is our first day. We're barely here,” she said. “I have been the only one to put in all the effort in planning this trip. And I know [there are] videos on mental load, but this is prime time example of me. 

“I'm shouldering the mental load for my entire family, and everybody has something to say about it,” she continued. “So, yeah, I'm frustrated.”

Now, before you ask what the “mental load” is, let me break it down for you. 

The mental load, also known as emotional labour, is the emotional and cognitive work required behind-the-scenes required to manage a household, run a family and pretty much organise anything. 

Honestly, it’s like having 100 tabs open in your brain, and you need all of them to function properly. Hell, sometimes, you’ve even got tabs open for other people in there.

You’re scheduling playdates, thinking about what to make for dinner, making notes about the next bill payment, and trying to do the laundry all at once. Oh, now you have to take the bins out and pick up your kid from school, who just told you they have an assignment due tomorrow. 

It’s exhausting, and it’s far more common than you may think.

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The mum-of-two was "frustrated" after one day on holiday. Picture: a.millennialmama/TIkTok

“A family really knows how to hurt mum’s feelings on vacation”

Other parents couldn’t help but relate to Alexis’ struggle with her family on holiday. 

“Oh gosh, the mental load of planning every detail and then knowing if something goes wrong or isn’t perfect, it’s all on you,” a mum wrote. “Been there.”

“Not counting all the stuff ahead of time before you even leave (mail stop, cleaning out the fridge, making sure the dishwasher is clean), all the things,” said another. 

“That would be my cue to go book myself a room and leave them to fend for themselves,” a third added. 

“A family really knows how to hurt mum’s feelings on vacation.”

“Mums are extremely underrated,” another chimed in. “We do the most, and it’s rarely appreciated.”

Some came up with a solution for her stress. 

“Go and do whatever you want to do!” read a suggestion.

“Spa day sounds perfect and take yourself out for fabulous meals!”

“My go-to phrase is ‘I don't work here,’” said another.

Originally published as ‘I hate organising holidays with kids, I’m sick of carrying the mental load’