'I don't want to do something special with my kids on Mother's Day'

"Spending time with my kids is a gift. It’s just not the one I want for Mother’s Day."

It’s a couple of days out from Mother’s Day, and my husband is asking me what I want to do to celebrate. 

He floats the usual ideas - a nice breakfast or lunch together as a family, a trip to the beach, a pub dinner. We could do coffees and croissants at the local playground, or the kids could make me breakfast in bed (under very heavy supervision), or we could jump in the car and go further afield to make a day of it. 

My choice.

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this.

"This Mother's Day, I want something different"

They’re all lovely ideas, but I don’t want to do any of them. What I really want, this Mother’s Day, is some time to myself. 

This is my fourth Mother’s Day as a mum, and my second as a mum of two. For the record, I have zero complaints about the way I spent my first three Mother’s Days, which was with a lovely breakfast at a local cafe with my sons, perched on my knees, climbing on my back, and swinging from the table.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with celebrating that way, but this year, I want something different. 

Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing I love more on Earth than spending time with my two sons. Call me biased, but I think they’re a delight. I like having meals with them, and taking road trips with them, and cooking with them. I genuinely enjoy watching them play. But I do those things with them every weekend, so if I’m honestly being asked what I’d like to do as a special treat for myself, another morning at the playground isn’t the answer. 

Zoe and her gorgeous kids. Image: Supplied

RELATED: My tricks for getting what you really want on Mother’s Day

"If I'm honest, I'm tired"

For four years in a row that my life has been consumed - happily consumed, but entirely consumed - with my kids. I am (much to my continued surprise) the mother of two rambunctious toddler boys. I spend all of my waking moments thinking about them, and also many of my dreams. They are pure joy, pure silliness, pure chaos, and purely exhausting. 

And actually, if I’m honest, I’m a little bit tired. 

I’m well aware of how lucky I am. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Spending time with my kids is a gift. It’s just not the one I want for Mother’s Day. 

Going out for a meal with my kids is great fun, but it’s work. Packing up the family for a day trip will make wonderful memories, but it’s work. Cooking a meal for the extended family is work. Even being treated to breakfast in bed, the hallmark of Mother’s Days since I was a kid, is work (I mean, have you ever seen the mess a toddler makes if let loose in the kitchen?). 

Of course a lot of mums, including me, have supportive partners who can, and do, help out with all that work. But the truth is that a lot of mums - yes, including me - have a really hard time switching off totally and letting someone else do the parenting while they attempt to “just enjoy themselves”.

I’m not sure there’s a single mum on the planet who can, in fact, snooze peacefully while the scent of burnt toast and whisper-shouts of “No, no, we do not put our hands in the blender!” drift through the bedroom door. 

I absolutely love spending time with my kids, but I’m not truly relaxed when I’m with them, because I’m parenting. And I like parenting, but I’d also like a break from it sometimes. 

Image: supplied

"This is the Mother's Day gift I really want"

So what do I really want as a Mother’s Day present? My dream is a whole day just for me: free to browse the shops, get a facial, drink a coffee, read my book and go to the gym. A day where I can slow down a bit, take my time with things, and linger in a cafe for more than 14 minutes (which is about the attention span of my youngest child). 

It doesn’t mean I don’t love my kids. It just means that, heading into another year of being a mum, the best gift I can imagine is to spend just a little bit of time away from them, and a little bit of time recapturing myself.

So this Mother’s Day you’ll find me, new paperback in hand, with a plate of Eggs Benedict, a large skim cappuccino, and nobody else.

I absolutely can’t wait.

Originally published as 'I don't want to do something special with my kids on Mother's Day'