‘I don’t want my best friend to bring her 6mo baby to our girls’ holiday’

“The only cries we want to hear on this trip are from the seagulls stealing our snacks, not a baby.”

Alexandra Feiam

3 min read

September 6, 2024 - 2:08PM

Family Life

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Amelia* has been organising this girls’ trip with her three best friends for months.

The women are “all super busy from work”, so Amelia has put a lot of effort into organising it and making sure it aligns with everyone’s calendars.

The holiday was supposed to be a chance to relive the glory days of their youth and give them a chance to “relax, party a bit and have fun together like we used to”.

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Amelia doesn't want Hannah to bring her 6mo to the holiday. Picture: iStock

“She asked if she could bring her baby along on the trip”

Unfortunately for Amelia, no matter how hard you try to cling to the past, life keeps moving forward.

Six months ago, her friend Hannah* gave birth to her first child; it’s a huge milestone for the 27-year-old.

“We’re all super supportive of her as a new mum,” Amelia wrote on Reddit. “We’ve been there for her throughout her pregnancy and after she gave birth.”

“But recently, she asked if she could bring her baby along on the trip.”

While Amelia insists she “loves Hannah and her baby”, it doesn’t mean she wants the baby on holiday with her.

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“I really wanted this trip to be an escape where we could unwind and have a carefree time like we used to,” she wrote, exasperated.

According to Amelia, this was the only chance the friends had to go on a holiday together. “We’ve been talking about doing this for years,” she said. “I didn’t think it would be the same vibe with a baby there.”

The American woman “gently” explained her thinking to Hannah and “suggested maybe her husband or family could watch the baby for the weekend, so she could have some time to herself”.

In response, Hannah accused Amelia of “being inconsiderate” and “prioritising the fun over her friendship”.

The new mother wasn’t finished, telling Amelia “that just because she’s a mum now doesn’t mean she should be excluded from things,” and she feels like Amelia is “expecting her to choose between her baby and [the friends]”.

Amelia stressed that she wasn’t “trying to exclude” her best friend but maintained that having a baby tagging along at the girls’ trip would “change the dynamic of the whole trip”.

“Life is different for your friend now”

Generally speaking, people supported Amelia’s argument about the child-free holiday and agreed that she wasn’t being unreasonable in her expectations.

“You have the right to have a child-free girls' trip, and Hannah should understand that as a new mum,” read a comment. “The terms were a girls-only weekend trip,” another agreed. “Hannah knew that and is now trying to change the terms and manipulate everyone with a sob story.”

“The only cries we want to hear on this trip are from the seagulls stealing our snacks, not a baby,” a third penned.

Others reminded Amelia that this is just part of life, and both she and Hannah need to accept that plans may not always turn out the way they hoped.

“The group dynamic begins to change as friends marry and add children. It’s just part of life,” someone said. “Life is different for your friend now, and sometimes hard choices regarding friend/family time will need to be made,” shared another.

Many people stuck up for Hannah online, who was clearly experiencing a lot of changes that come along with parenthood.

“Hannah is a new mum, I’ve been there,” a parent said. “Leaving the baby can be hard AF, but also, it’s so hard to lose your sense of self and to see how friendships change after having kids.”

*Names have been changed