Dad-to-be refuses to take part in birth tradition as it gives him the 'ick'

"I feel that my wife has a Hollywood idea of birth," he says, before detailing the "gruesome" request.

As the countdown to parenthood quickly approaches, one man has taken to an online advice forum to seek assurance about his reluctance to take part in his wife's birth plan. 

Nowadays, many women create some sort of birth plan - some more specific than others. 

From who they want in the room or if they want to use anesthesia to very meticulous details like the soundtrack or specific snacks they want on hand. 

But what happens if the dad wants to... divert from the script?

That's exactly what this man wanted to do and his wife was not happy about it. 

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Image: IStock

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"I find it really squeamish to cut into human flesh"

Taking to the forum, he explained his unease about the act of cutting the baby's umbilical cord, a decision that has put him at odds with his wife's expectations of the birthing experience.

"My wife is full-term and being induced tomorrow," he shared. "I told her quite early on that I didn't want to cut to the cord. I know it's just me and that I'm making it weird, but I find it really squeamish to cut into human flesh. It seems like a medical procedure and I'm REALLY uncomfortable with it. My wife appeared to accept my decision at the time but under protest."

But now with the big day upon them, his wife has pressed the issue again.

"I told her I wanted to be involved in every way I could, including catching the baby and handing him or her to their new mum," he said, but she insisted he cut the cord.

When he asked why it was so important to her, she couldn't give him a specific reason. 

OP added, "She also wants me to get in the shower with her and rub her back during labour, which she saw on a Netflix show."

In a follow-up edit to his post, he explained that he's not squeamish about the birth in general, as he's a first responder and has "seen every kind of gore", but it's just the cutting of the cord he has an issue with. 

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The forum totally backed the dad

The community backed the dad's decision, basically saying he doesn't have to do this if he doesn't want to. 

"If you don’t want to cut human flesh, especially if you feel that is a violent action to do towards another person or it is a medical procedure then you shouldn’t," the top comment said. 

Another reply read: "I’ve never met a single person whose birth plan went how they thought, from both big and little changes. But having one is comforting at a time of high stress and pain. I wouldn’t argue about this with your (very pregnant!) wife if you don’t have to – you know her wishes, she knows yours.

"No need to debate it. But decline and help her cuddle the baby while the cord is cut. I hope everything goes fabulously for all three of you!"

Then a third commented, "If you’re not comfortable literally cutting the cord, I think the last thing that should be between you and your newborn is essentially a very sharp knife."

And finally, this person said, "It’s unfortunate that you aren’t able to do one of the things she is dreaming of, but you aren’t. Both of you are communicating clearly so there won’t be any surprises, and you don’t have much time.

"It is what it is…The part about rubbing her back while she stands under hot water seems pretty straightforward, though. Just take some swim shorts and a towel and flip-flops to the hospital…Where possible, be gentle with her and be flexible with each other. Where that is not possible, forgive each other."

This article was originally published in October 2023 and was updated in October 2024. 

Originally published as Dad-to-be refuses to take part in birth tradition as it gives him the 'ick'