Jana Hocking on how many sexual partners is too many
What’s your number? It’s a deeply personal question men use to judge whether a woman is “wife material” but Jana Hocking proves its nonsense.
Lifestyle
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Ever been told you’re not ‘marriage material’? I know I have, numerous times. Usually from someone who frowns at my hedonistic lifestyle.
“Keep dating all those blokes Jana and you’ll get a reputation,” one great Aunt likes to constantly remind me.
Take a deep dive into my DMs and you’ll find many an angry gent ranting on about how I’m encouraging women to be promiscuous and all I’m going to end up with is a couple of cats and some horrid STIs.
Well first of all, I adore cats, and secondly praise be for condoms. Safe sex practices always, people.
So it brings me great joy to report that science has come to the rescue. Fact: The amount of sexual partners you’ve had has little to no impact on whether you’re ‘marriage material’ or not.
Seriously, don’t just take my word for it, this grand statement comes from Scientific Researchers at the Universities of Utah and Oklahoma who analysed data on nearly 9000 people who had disclosed their sexual history over 18 years.
They discovered that the recent number of sexual partners was associated with a reduction in the odds of marriage, but this effect only lasted a year – suggesting the link is temporary.
Which is good news for those of us who have had a decent crack at the single life.
As your typical Type-A person, I’ve kept a list of my sexual partners, and I remember the day it surpassed ten.
Oh gaaawd, I thought to myself as I added another “Harry” to the list. I thought I’d be married by the time I reached this number. Safe to say it’s always lingered in the back of my mind, but not enough to really stop me from having a good time.
And don’t get me wrong, my list isn’t huge, but it’s enough to classify me as someone who has a healthy libido.
The study went on to say: “Although heterosexual women have historically been stigmatised for having casual sex, our analyses suggest that this does not manifest itself in long-term singleness. Women with multiple sex partners are just as likely to get married as are virgins, if somewhat later.”
So, then the question is, well why are women who are slightly promiscuous getting married later than the virginal folk among us?
The scientists found a number of reasons why, including women being more financially independent, and becoming less thrilled by the idea of a lifelong commitment to just one person. Oh I get it! Really getting vibes that this study was based upon me.
Like quite a few of my friends, I quite fancy the idea of getting married but am I in a rush to skip down that aisle? Nope! And the stats don’t lie, marriages in 2021 were down a whopping 21.7 per cent compared to 2019, and that includes excludes the lockdown period. Wow.
To sum up their research, the scientists left it on this note: “Either way, it is a short-term effect. A man or woman who is still engaging with multiple sex partners as a young adult does not compromise his or her marriage prospects down the road.”
Well take me to the chapel because this girl is getting married. Eventually. In probably the distant future. Right after I have a few more rolls in the hay.
Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
Originally published as Jana Hocking on how many sexual partners is too many
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