I was accused of 'outshining' the bride on her wedding day

"My outfit was apparently too extravagant and inappropriate," the woman wrote. But wait until you hear what the dress code was... 

A woman has unexpectedly become the focal point of workplace drama after attending her colleague's daughter's wedding and allegedly outshining the bride.

In a post that now has over 17k likes and 6.3k comments, she details her supposed misinterpretation of the dress code, which was simply "dress to impress." 

Despite initial compliments on the day, the mood quickly shifted to hushed conversations about the 'OTT' nature of her outfit. Then in the aftermath, the office was rife with gossip, leading to an unsettling confrontation with the bride's mother. 

Let's get into it. 

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The type of dress the OP wore to the wedding. Image: Reddit

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"The bride was downright rude to me"

In her own words, the woman explained, "So I, 27, am a black African woman. My 60-year-old colleague, who I've become quite friendly with, invited me to her daughter's wedding.

"I was excited as I've never been to a white wedding. I asked if there was a dress code to adhere to since it wasn't specified on the invite. I was told the code is 'dress to impress'."

She then donned "traditional wear" which she says was a "beautiful green/blue dress."

The woman said, "I get a lot of questions and compliments at the wedding, which I genuinely downplay because it's not my day.

"My colleague seems colder than usual but I pay it no mind since she's the mother of the bride and could be preoccupied. The bride is downright rude to me, but again I give her grace. I congratulate her and thank her for including me, but I get a tight '😐' in response."

As the night progressed, the OP said she stuck to the edges of the room, didn't dance and left after around five hours. 

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"I drew attention from the bride and commandeered the room"

Come Monday and the OP realised the office vibe was slightly off. 

"I walked into whispers in the office, people acting strangely and more reserved than usual. An office friend pulls me aside and fills me in: the bride's mother is fuming," she explained.

"My outfit was too extravagant, OTT and inappropriate. I drew attention from the bride and commandeered the room: I was rude and disrespectful. She's told people all about it, apparently."

So the woman approached the mother of the bride to ask her why she was saying things to everyone except for her.

"She called me an insolent child. I explained that this was my first white people wedding. I specifically asked what to wear and followed the guidelines. Where I'm from, there's no such thing as outshining the bride - weddings are a fashion show and a chance to wear your best and brightest clothes.

"A person told me this isn't Africa (which was racially coded) and people here have manners. I laughed and told that person to go to hell, so she's telling people I lack remorse for my behaviour."

She concluded her post by asking, "I'm wondering if I really am the a**hole though?"

"You followed the instructions!"

The top comment, with 16k likes, read: "The mother is at fault here. For being a gossip and for giving you bad advice."

A second person added, "OP, your dress was GORGEOUS — you followed the instructions! I would be honoured to have you attend my wedding. Your friend the MOB is not your friend… so sorry! Hold your head up and let your beauty shine. Not the a**hole."

And a third said, "You might want to consider a chat with HR if MOB is dragging too many work people into her personal concerns. This is an office, not a coffee shop. Also NTA. Some people are silly about weddings."

Someone else concluded, "How can anyone outshine the bride unless their wearing an actual wedding dress is beyond me?! I’m South Asian and our wedding dress code is EXTRAVAGANT ONLY, go as OTT as you want because the bride WILL outshine the entire venue!"

Finally, someone claimed, "NTA. She is giving you dumb guidelines and then getting pissy for you following them."

Originally published as I was accused of 'outshining' the bride on her wedding day