How this 1 hour habit with my partner changed my weekly mental load

"When I discovered this organisational hack, I had no idea how revelatory it would be."

Have you ever been having a romantic dinner with your partner and then your mind started to drift to... that leaky tap in your house you keep putting off getting fixed?

Or has your night at the movies ever been ruined by realising you forgot it's bin night? Or perhaps your weekly swim lessons with the kids (where you finally got to switch off) were interrupted by remembering you never changed that hair appointment? 

Two words, my friend. 

Admin hour. 

When I discovered this organisational hack, I had no idea how downright revelatory it would be. My mental load turned into a more consolidated, manageable and even fun, load. 

This is the epitome of working smarter, not harder. Curious? Read on.

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Weekly admin hour reduced my mental load. Image: Supplied

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How it works

If you feel like your chores and to-do lists come to you in random bursts throughout the week, and you can never truly get on top of them, admin hour is for you. 

It's a designated time you create in your week for dealing with all the admin stuff in your life (aka, the dull stuff.) None of those tasks take up that much time individually, but all that time you spend thinking about it, adds up.

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It's just one hour, per week to deal with all those pesky tasks. Of course, there can be other things that pop up during the week that you need to deal with, but usually, unless something is pressing, we'll save it and deal with it in admin hour. It allows my partner, Carl and I more time to be present during the week, and also reduces conflict over making multiple decisions.

It has also helped us get on the same page, stop procrastinating and also just check in with each other.

We don't have children yet, so we know our admin hour might look a little different (and shorter!) than some people's. But we still love doing this as it sets up good habits and will also prepare us for later down the track when the mental load properly starts to take over our lives. 

For now, it's something that we actually look forward to doing, and that's because we've made sure to add in some things that aren't just focused on the boring admin stuff. 

Here's how we do it.

We also do fun activity planning too. Image: Supplied

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Make it fun

We make sure to always do the admin hour somewhere other than our house, so we actually look forward to it. Usually, we like to bring a laptop, so a cafe makes the perfect location. We can set up, have a coffee or some breakfast and get into it. We like to do it on a Sunday, as it means we feel set up for the week come Monday. 

We also make it fun by planning all our social activities in admin hour too. During the week, life gets in the way and it's easier to just opt to stay in and watch TV after work. If you've already planned weekly activities and date nights, then you don't have to think about it during the week or make excuses.

The list. Image: Supplied

Make it clear

It helps to have a list of agenda items, so I'll run you through the list we made so that you can get some inspo. Of course, tailor it to your own needs.

1. Check-in (emotional, physical, relationship, work): Obviously we regularly keep these conversations going throughout the week, but having a dedicated time for them too can really help give your feelings the space they deserve. It also gives you a chance to reflect on the previous week and flag any issues you wanted to bring up. It's nice to have this neutral environment to discuss things, away from the heat of the moment (mainly for the relationship point!)
2. Set up appointments and book gym classes: Here we book things like doctors appointments, physio, dentist etc. and also book our gym classes for the week. This means we don't have to waste time and energy during the week deciding when we're going to workout. 
3. Plan meals for the week: This means working out how many breakfasts, lunches and dinners we're going to need and figuring out exactly what we need to buy for these meals. (We add them to our grocery list then and there.)
4. Anything we need to buy: If there's anything that needs replacing or fixing in our house or anything else like buying presents for people, we organise it here.
5. Plan fun dates for the week: Now the boring stuff is out of the way, it's time for the fun stuff. We use this time to slot in date nights and make reservations. Sometimes they can even be as simple as going for a sunset walk (free, but quality time!) - it's just about prioritising your relationship, especially as work can often get in the way during the week. 
6. Make social plans: Book in coffee dates or catch-ups with your friends or plan fun activities you can do together. 
7. Future planning: This usually means chatting about the bigger stuff on the horizon, our goals, holiday planning etc.

Some extra bits:

• Underneath the admin hour list, we also have an 'action items' list (this is starting to sound like a formal meeting!) This is where we put anything that we need to follow up on later, such as things that rely on hearing back from other people.
• We also keep an 'activity inventory' which is basically a list of cool activities or things we want to do. Whenever we come across something, we'll just pop it on the list, then when it comes to the social planning and dates section of Admin Hour, we just pick things from the list. 

Our current activity inventory. Image: Supplied.

Make it effective

To optimise admin hour and make it as effective as possible, it's important that you try and do everything you need to during that hour. Don't just think about the fact you need to make that doctor's appointment, actually book it.

The same goes for social planning. We make sure to put everything immediately into our calendars so we ensure we stick to our plans. 

Another thing that helps is going grocery shopping straight after admin hour. We tack this onto the end so we can use some of that momentum of admin hour to get another chore out of the way. 

This article was originally published in 2022 and was updated in April 2024. 

Originally published as How this 1 hour habit with my partner changed my weekly mental load