Angela Mollard: My search for the ‘Perfect White T-shirt’

The fashion industry fails to address the basics — the items most of us actually wear, like the simple white T-shirt. But Angela Mollard has a solution.

Sometimes I think “fashion” hates us.

It pretends it likes us by dropping all sorts of delectable outfits into shop windows and on Instagram feeds but then gets so self-important it spectacularly fails to read the room. That’s when it throws out such ridiculous trends as socks with stilettos, velour tracksuits and bermuda shorts (making a comeback, I’m sad to say).

Fortunately, I’m a grown-up and can tolerate that sort of toddler-level intransigence about what actually looks good on real live humans. I don’t buy the velour or the bermuda shorts and take great delight in seeing them on discount rails at the end of the season.

“Ha, ha, fashion,” I say to myself. “You got it wrong.”

Rather, what really annoys me about fashion is its failure to address the basics. It’s all very well coming up with diamante-studded jumpsuits and pointless mini handbags, but if you can’t manage the essentials – that is, the items most of us actually wear – then you need to get off the Ferris wheel and back to the drawing board.

Sadly, nowhere is this oversight more apparent than in the elusive quest for a simple white T-shirt.

Yes, everyone wears them, they’re immune to trends, and there are thousands of iterations thrown at us by Big Fashion.

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, in a simple white shirt. Picture: Jack Hill/Getty

But most of them are awful which is shameful for an industry that clearly forgets its success is predicated less on what IT wants and more on what WE need. Seriously, it would be easier to procure my own pet koala or convince India to give up coal than it is to find the Perfect White T-shirt (PWTS).

Not to be confused with the Ugly White T-shirt or the Transparent White T-shirt or the It’s Beneath Us To Design A Good T-shirt But Here’s One Anyway, the PWTS is exactly that. It’s cut well, holds its shape, is thick enough not to reveal your bra and is generally flattering. Not exactly a tough ask for an industry which, you know, stitches things.

Anyway, having just emerged from a month-long peregrination of stores and websites, it’s a measure of my civic duty that I’ve hauled my weary T-shirt-tested body to a keyboard to share my findings.

But first let’s backtrack. Up until 18 months ago I bought T-shirts from Cotton On. They came in V-necks and crew-necks, washed well and, crucially, the neck seams were not too thick nor the sleeves too long. They were a purse-friendly two for $30.

But like so many retailers, they changed the design. Now this is not an issue when it comes to pants or skirts because we all accept fashion is an evolutionary industry.

But who gave the T-shirt pattern cutter permission to go rogue? Gone is the reliable white T and in its place is a ghastly thing made with too-thick cotton, a curved hem (ugh) and the greatest travesty of all – a seam down the back. No one needs a seam down the back.

It is change for change’s sake – as equally annoying as MAC Cosmetics deciding to discontinue its All That Glitters eyeshadow even though it was a bestseller and suited everyone.

Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, get her Covid vaccine wearing a fitted white top.

And so began my arduous expedition to find a new PWTS. My friend Nicola was wearing a lovely navy one which she revealed was ancient and from Bassike. Likewise, my friend Lana was wearing a white one by Jac + Jack.

An online search revealed both options were more than $100 which puts them in the “elevated basic” category. Much as I’d love to support Australian Made my budget doesn’t run to that.

That’s when I stumbled across an article titled “32 Vogue Editors Share the Best White T-Shirts”. After briefly considering that 32 is a lot of editors to reach a consensus, I read on and realised they were all nominating different ones.

Cos and Everlane were popular, but one editor pointed out archly that a white T-shirt has to have a touch of humour. Her pick was a Vaquera Teddy “tee” costing $378 which certainly made me laugh.

I needed more down-to-earth advice so asked Brisbane stylist Brooke Falvey who is gifted at making fashion friendly. She came back to me in 0.3 seconds, pointing out that when you find a white T-shirt you love you must buy multiples and a tub of Napisan.

Then she got into fashion-speak about “pieces” and “anchoring”, which I frantically scrolled through until I got to her recommendation – Marks & Spencer’s Pure Cotton Straight Fit Tee which is great value at $16.50 because, as she pointed out, “I goop on all things white!”

I ordered one immediately and she’s right, it’s terrific, particularly if you like a longish sleeve.

Of course, it was then that I received some fresh intel. The aforementioned Lana, stricken by my plight, sent me an article in which the author claimed to have solved the white T-shirt conundrum.

Coincidentally, that very morning Kylie Gillies, the wonderful host of The Morning Show, corroborated this new info. Uniqlo, she stated emphatically, did the best white T-shirts and her secret tip – buy men’s versions in XS.

I opted for the women’s Supima Cotton Crew for $14.90 and it is faultless. You’re welcome.

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Originally published as Angela Mollard: My search for the ‘Perfect White T-shirt’