Adelaide couple Sarah and Tom Starkey make emotional plea to find surrogate

After a two-decade battle with Crohn’s disease, an Adelaide advocate has called out for a surrogate to have their child – and shared a powerful message for women.

After six rounds of IVF and three miscarriages, an Adelaide couple has made an emotional call out on social media to find a surrogate to help them have a baby.

Sarah Starkey, who has fought a more than two-decade battle against Crohn’s disease, and her husband Tom opened up in a series of raw videos about their fertility journey in the hopes of helping others “not suffer in silence”.

Mrs Starkey, 38, was diagnosed with Crohn’s at age 13 and, at 24, her bowel stopped working.

Complications from the disease and subsequent ileostomy surgery – to replace her bowel with a stoma bag – have meant she has been unable to carry a pregnancy to term.

“I opted to have my bowel removed and my rectum removed because I actually had precancerous cells in my rectum … then, only a few months ago, we were told that my small bowel is stuck to my tailbone and it cannot surgically be removed,” she said.

This week would have been the due date for the couple’s third baby, who they lost to miscarriage.

“We want to be parents so badly,” Mrs Starkey said.

“(It’s) been playing on my mind a lot, that we should have a baby by now. But the world has other plans for us.”

Adelaide couple Sarah and Tom Starkey have made an emotional social media plea to find a surrogate.

A passionate ambassador for Crohn’s and Colitis Australia, Mrs Starkey said she knew her disease would come with fertility complications – but never imagined it could rob her of the chance to have children of her own.

“I sort of always knew that conceiving might be a little bit challenging, but I didn’t expect it to be this challenging,” she said.

The couple, who married in 2020, are now searching for a surrogate to carry a baby for them.

“We want to have a child of our own that is a little mini us,” Mrs Starkey said.

Sarah Starkey is hoping someone can make their dream come true.

“I think that would complete us. That would mean the world to us if we could have our own baby. We’d be forever grateful.”

Mr Starkey said the pair were “just putting it out there to the universe that someone can help us … can help our dream come true”.

She hoped that sharing her story would help combat the stigma around miscarriage and inspire others to reach out for support if they are facing health battles of their own.

“There are so many people that suffer in silence. So many women I’ve worked with have since told me, ‘I’ve had a miscarriage’ – but they had never told me before.”

“Once you open up and share a little bit, the support you get back is just huge.”

Surrogacy is legal in South Australia but any payments made can only be to reimburse a surrogate for their expenses.

Surrogates must be at least 25 years old.

Parties must seek legal advice and counselling before making a surrogacy arrangement, which must be agreed in writing.

Originally published as Adelaide couple Sarah and Tom Starkey make emotional plea to find surrogate