Why sex during pregnancy matters more than you think

Let’s talk about sex, baby

Sex during pregnancy: yay or nay? Despite experts confirming sex throughout a healthy pregnancy isn’t likely to cause issues, many expectant parents are still cautious about the birds and the bees. Here’s why a sexual wellness specialist can’t stop raving about sex during pregnancy. 

Pregnancy is perhaps one of the most significant periods of physical and emotional change someone will experience in their lifetime. Each stage, from conception to post-partum, is filled with challenges, some more difficult to navigate than others. 

Consequently, there’s no shortage of tips and tricks floating around designed to help people manage their pregnancies. Experts could speak for days to expectant parents on nutritional necessities, the power of movement and mobility, and the undisputed benefit of rest.  

But according to sexual wellness expert and Lovehoney ambassador, Cheryl Fagan, amongst the sea of pre-natal health advice, we may be sleeping on the importance of sex during pregnancy. Guided by her professional expertise, and current pregnancy experience, Fagan shares with Body+Soul why expectant parents should embrace getting down and dirty.

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We’re all familiar with the crucial role sex plays in (most) cases of conception. And thanks to that episode of Friends where Rachel tries every trick in the book to bring on her impending labour, we’re also familiar with the idea that sex around your due date is a surefire way to get contractions going. 

But as the sex and relationship expert explains, sex also plays a major role throughout the nine months between conception and birth. And when it comes to ‘sex’, she says it's important to think in broader terms than just intercourse with a partner. 

“Being pleasure-focused, aware of your senses and intimate with yourself and your partner will help you to feel more at home in your pregnant body,” says Fagan. “When we’re talking specifically about sex during pregnancy, it increases the love hormone oxytocin, which heightens connection and bonding, releases release, improves sleep, decreases sensitivity to pain, promotes healing, and can lower blood pressure.”

LoveHoney Ambassador and sexual wellness expert, Cheryl Fagan. Image: Supplied

How can regular sex actually influence our childbirth experience?

According to Fagan, when a person orgasms, their brain releases Oxytocin, the very chemical necessary for childbirth. Regular sexual activity (and regular orgasms) is key to preparing your body for labour, in whatever form that takes.

“Pregnancy and birth are a part of our sexuality, so sex is preparing you holistically: your mind, body and emotions for a positive birth,” says Fagan. “The same way your body will remember how you did your hip stretches and perineal massages, the body wants to get used to and feel oxytocin regularly in the lead up to birth.”

A little nookie throughout pregnancy can also pay dividends when it comes to your postpartum recovery, says Fagan. 

“In postpartum you may not feel as sexual for a little while, so the experiences during pregnancy can prepare you for other ways to be intimate.”

Each trimester influences your sex drive, tolerance and ability differently. Image: iStock

Considerations for each trimester 

The three trimesters of pregnancy and the post-partum period (sometimes dubbed the fourth trimester), each come with their own set of surprising symptoms. During your pregnancy, you might find each trimester influences your sex drive, tolerance and ability differently. 

“In the first trimester, you may not feel so sexual due to the rush of hormones running through your body creating the placenta, which is why a lot of women experience morning sickness,” explains Fagan. “The second and third trimester is definitely where it ramps up and some women feel more sexual than ever before!”

According to the sexual wellness expert, many women understandably find that changes in their appearance can impede their sex drive and function. That said, Fagan urges women to embrace such changes.

“The pregnant body exudes sexy, so embrace the changes, love your body by acknowledging all it does for you and the baby, get massages, enjoy your favourite foods, and indulge in your senses!” She says.

There are other ways besides penetrative sex parents-to-be can be sexually fulfilled. Image: iStock

As Fagan says, embracing sex during pregnancy doesn’t mean you need to be constantly engaging in penetrative sex. In fact, there are many ways expectant parents can be sexually fulfilled to help influence their birthing experience. 

“As pregnancy progresses intercourse can become more difficult,” Fagan says. “So exploring other ways to be sexual aside from penetration, like clitoral stimulation, masturbation using toys like the Womanizer Premium 2 or We-Vibe Touch X, oral sex, massages, kissing, eye gazing, sensual movement and dancing, can be more enjoyable, fun and satisfying.”

Originally published as Why sex during pregnancy matters more than you think