Breastfeeding: The difference between discomfort and pain

Courtney Figgins is speaking about her challenges breastfeeding to help others who might be going through the same thing and feel “mum guilt”.

New mum Courtney Figgins faced many challenges while breastfeeding — and one thing that shocked her was terrible pain.

Ms Figgins, a mum to six-month-old Blake, said she had issues with latching and stopped breastfeeding because “he wasn’t getting enough from me.”

“I had a lot of mum guilt because of the stigma surrounding breastfeeding,” she said.

“I wasn’t sure if it was a latching issue or if I just couldn’t make enough milk.”

Even with parenting classes and information from friends, Ms Figgins said there were still multiple things that she didn’t know and was shocked by after giving birth.

Mum, Courtney Figgins with son Blake, 6 months. Picture: Tim Carrafa

The biggest one was the pain of breastfeeding.

She said it made her feel like she was letting Blake down.

“The let down and latching was extremely painful for me,” she said.

“There was also the guilt of not being able to breastfeed your child.”

When anything went wrong, Ms Figgins, who is sharing her story to raise awareness, said she blamed herself because of this stigma.

“When he got sick, my mum’s guilt came back because I thought he would get over the cold quicker if he was breastfed,” she said.

Should breastfeeding be painful?

Dr Jennifer Hocking, lactation and expert adviser at the Australian Breastfeeding Association, said it may be uncomfortable, but not painful.

“It shouldn’t be painful and that could be a flag for a mum to seek support,” she said.

She said there were certain components of feeding which could make mums uncomfortable, but they should not experience pain.

“When a baby attaches, the mum’s nipple goes to the back of the baby’s mouth,” she said.

We have both a soft and hard palate in our mouth and it’s important the nipple is pushed to the soft area.

“The nipple has to stretch quite a bit to do that, which can cause some discomfort for a few seconds,” she said.

Courtney Figgins said she wasn't prepared for the pain and felt ashamed to use formulas – something experts say she should be kind to herself about. Picture: Tim Carrafa

Dr Hocking said it’s important a mum gets as close to the baby as possible.

“If the attachment isn’t good or there’s friction it may be a reason some women have pain,” she said.

With being a new mum, Dr Hocking said there was so much to learn and so it was important for mums to have access to support early.

Recommending breastfeeding classes, she said it was a great way to learn what could be expected from a newborn.

“Breastfeeding is like a new skill that you learn, it’s great to have some preparation and support before you start,” she said.

What can make anxiety over breastfeeding worse

Psychologist, Alysha Fameli, said an infant’s needs would cause some anxiety for mothers.

“Whether it’s their first baby or not, it’s an incredibly big responsibility,” she said.

The primary aspects of caring for a baby include feeding and sleeping.

When you struggle with that, it could become a huge source of stress, she said.

“Part of the problem is that we are getting our information from sources that are not necessarily scientifically-backed (social media, media outlets etc.),” she said.

“In these cases, the stigma or judgment is not often coming from someone who’s an expert in breastfeeding.”

Ms Fameli said getting away from social media as a primary source of information was a good place to start.

“We can get flooded with information that is often conflicting which can be extremely stressful,” she said.

“Find a health professional, friend, or allied health professional (psychologist, midwife or lactation consultant) that understands your values and gives you advice that you feel you can take or leave.”

Why mums shouldn’t feel guilty

Ms Fameli said mums, like Ms Figgins, should not feel guilty for doing what is best for them.

Mums often go against their original intentions to stop judgment and they “do something that they don’t feel comfortable with,” she said.

To cope with this, she suggests mothers create clear boundaries from the beginning.

By doing this, you know what you’re going to say to someone.

“You don’t need to defend your choices, you just get to make them,” she said.

Adding that a baby is dependent on a mum’s emotional wellbeing, she noted the most important thing for a mother was to ensure they are happy and healthy themselves.

“Mums really need to remember that one of the biggest predictors of social and emotional development in children is actually maternal wellbeing,” she said.

The best thing for babies like Blake is that their mum is emotionally well. Picture: Tim Carrafa

“The best thing you can do for your baby is be emotionally well.”

If you’re feeling so distressed that it becomes consuming, Ms Hocking said it may be helpful to reach out for support.

Originally published as Breastfeeding: The difference between discomfort and pain