5 tips for maximum pleasure when suffering from endometriosis

Covering all bases, for solo and partnered play

Achiever maximum pleasure when suffering from endometriosis. Image: iStock.

Endometriosis can not only interfere with the quality of life, but with the ability to be intimate with a partner. Here, sex therapist Christine Rafe shares five tips for experiencing less pain and infinitely more pleasure.

March is Endometriosis Awareness Month. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), one in ten women of reproductive age is affected by endometriosis globally.

Endometriosis can not only interfere with the quality of life, but with the ability to be intimate with a partner. For endo sufferers, often any form of penetrative sex can be painful, and a person may prefer to engage in other types of sexual activity.

Like what you see? Sign up to our bodyandsoul.com.au newsletter for more stories like this.

If you’re an endometriosis sufferer looking for ways to have less painful partnered or solo sex, I’ve put together my top five strategies.

1. Communication is key

Endo can be frustrating! You might find yourself disappointed in not being able to engage in sex with a partner, or feeling frustrated with your whole body. It’s important to talk with your partner, share your thoughts, and explore the different avenues of pleasure with each other.

Share with your partner anything you know about what increases or supports your symptoms, and allow space for your partner to ask questions and be curious about your experience of endometriosis, and how they can support you.

Communication with your partner is key. Image: iStock

2. Initiate pleasure without penetration

Solo play and partnered masturbation can be beneficial for alleviating pain as the release of endorphins, oxytocin, serotonin and dopamine (happy hormones) can help with discomfort. Masturbating in a warm bath with some Epsom salts can also help with endo pain, as well as feeling relaxed and more present with pleasure.

You can opt for a vibrator like the Lovehoney Mon Ami Bullet, as it’s waterproof and safe to join you in the tub.  

Try pleasure time in the bath with some Epsom salts. Image: iStock

3. Warm-up is essential

Always warm up before engaging in penetrative play, and consider what types of penetration and positions feel the most comfortable for you. Vulva-vaginal pleasure physiology tells us that it can take up to 20 minutes for the vulva to be fully aroused and for the vagina to be ‘ready’ for penetration. This is true even for those who don’t have endometriosis or any pelvic or sexual pain concerns. 

This is important because the vagina elongates when the vulva is aroused, as well as lubricating and engorging the clitoris which can increase penetrative pleasure. All of these physiological processes make a big difference in less painful penetrative play. 

Consider incorporating external clitoral touch with any penetrative stimulation for dual stimulation. A toy such as the We-Vibe Touch X is great for this as its shape allows for clitoral stimulation in many partnered positions. When it comes to penetration with endometriosis, each person’s experience will be different.

Generally speaking, more shallow and slower penetration can reduce endo pain during penetration, so ask your partner to move slowly or have sex in positions where you can control the depth and speed, such as being on top, spooning or side-by-side positions where your partner remains more still and you move which can reduce pain associated with deep or fast penetration.

Have sex in positions where you are in control of depth and speed. Image: Supplied.

4. Integrate toys into your play

Penis Bumpers are a great sex toy option for penetrative sex. They can help to minimise the depth of penetration, thus lessening the potential for pain. Clitoral stimulation is another great option if penetrative play is painful.

The Womanizer Premium 2 is a great clitoral stimulator that uses Pleasure Air technology to simulate oral sex.  If you are more of a vibration lover then the We-Vibe Tango is a great option that packs power in a little package.

For those who want to try out some penetrative play for masturbation, a shorter penetrative toy like the We-Vibe Sync 2 could be a good place to start. It is a dual stimulator that stimulates the clitoris and g-spot at the same time. It also has a remote control as well as an app to allow you to control the stimulation.

Integrate toys and healthcare products. Image: Supplied.

5. Breath is your best friend

Use the breath as both your erotic pump and a pelvic relaxation tool. Breath is an underrated yet powerful part of sexual arousal, so bring some awareness to your breath and focus on breathing into the diaphragm and pelvis during solo and partnered play.

It might be easier to practice this during solo touch first, to see how you can channel pleasure throughout the whole body, not just focus on the pelvis and genitals.

Christine Rafe is a Sex and Relationship Therapist, Director of Good Vibes clinic and sexual wellness expert for Womanizer. You can find more about her here. 

Originally published as 5 tips for maximum pleasure when suffering from endometriosis