Claire Groot loses husband Aaron as she has her own cancer fight
When this mother was dealt the heartbreaking diagnosis of stage four breast cancer, she thought she’d always have her husband by her side to help her fight.
Cancer
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When Gold Coast mother Claire Groot was dealt the heartbreaking diagnosis of stage four breast cancer, she thought she would always have her husband by her side to help her fight.
But that changed just weeks ago when Aaron Groot died after his own battle with malignant melanoma.
The cruel twist of fate has left their two young daughters facing a an impossible future without their father while their mother continues to face her own cancer without fear.
The 42-year-old, who has been fighting triple-positive for five years, said her husband was diagnosed with malignant melanoma just before his 40th birthday in December 2023, which rocked the family to its core.
“I would explain him (Aaron), in all the words that a wife would, you know, amazing, perfect, all those kinds of things,” Mrs Groot said.
“He was bubbly and outgoing, loved sport.”
“He wanted to give us the best … (he was) a supportive, amazing person in every aspect.”
The diagnosis came as a shock, with Mr Groot having flagged a growth on his face three times before it was removed.
“It’s just really s**t when you try and do the right thing and this happens, when you trust people, when you take the active steps of going to see someone that’s supposed to be a professional,” Mrs Groot said.
“It’s just unfair.”
At the beginning, the family held strong hope Mr Groot could fight the diagnosis, undergoing emergency surgery to remove a tumour on his neck.
However, by July 2024, his scans began to show a progression of the cancer as it spread to his liver and bones and Mr Groot was told he was stage four.
While both parents underwent taxing treatments, the Gold Coast and surrounding community rallied behind the Groots with a GoFundMe raising more than $300,000 for the family.
Mrs Groot said every aspect of facing cancer as a couple was hard but both of them being a patient and a carer was incredibly tough.
“It was really difficult trying to support someone and also go through things yourself. But I also felt like I could say to him, up until a point, I could say I know how you feel,” she said.
“But then he got to a point where he was far beyond what I’d experienced and I couldn’t say I understand anymore.”
Following unsuccessful immunotherapy, the couple refused to give up on finding a treatment for Mr Groot, despite doctors in Australia advising them there was nothing more they could do.
“We just kept looking, kept searching for answers, in search for treatment, and there was never a day that went by that I wasn’t researching or talking to someone overseas,” Mrs Groot said.
One of those answers was found in Mexico – a revolutionary dendritic cell therapy at a specialised clinic – but it meant sacrificing six weeks of time with their children.
“It was a really tough decision to go, but when you’ve been told by numerous doctors here, there’s nothing left that they can do, what choice have you got?”
“We got an extra 70 days after I got him out of palliative care at the hospital, so, we’re very grateful for that, but I could see things working, and I could see potential in this treatment, and I just feel gutted that we just couldn’t finish it,” she said.
In January, Mr Groot suffered a brain bleed caused by a tumour in his brain.
Mrs Groot said there were no words to describe what she felt in her final days with her husband – just that he was surrounded by love.
Mr Groot’s life was celebrated on February 17 where friends and family paddled out into the ocean – a safe place for Mr Groot – and spread a portion of his ashes.
Breast cancer is a disease that is managed for life, according to Mrs Groot who continues to undergo triweekly targeted drug IV’s and scans every three months.
“It’s horrible, and it doesn’t get any easier as time goes on,” she said.
While the Groot’s two young girls, who are both under the age of 10, do not understand the full extent of their mothers diagnosis, they began to understand what was happening to their father day-by-day.
“Kids ask the questions when they’re ready to find out and when they want to know, as they get older and we get over this shock, I’ll explain to them my situation, but it will be done very carefully to ensure that there’s no fear,” Mrs Groot said.
As Mrs Groot faces continuous monitoring and treatment without her husband by her side, she says “fear is only a hindrance”.
“I don’t like to let fear get in the way of what I’m doing,” she says.
“I can only look forward in a positive way and do everything that I possibly can to keep myself healthy,” she said.
As a way to keep Mr Groot’s memory alive and help other local families in similar situations, Mrs Groot said they were on track start Groota’s Gift where money raised would go towards buying medication, meals or helping pay for chemotherapy.
Originally published as Claire Groot loses husband Aaron as she has her own cancer fight