Learning to love again after Married At First Sight starts with yourself, says Lucinda Light

Lucinda Light tried to find love on Married At First Sight – but her TV marriage failed then so did her post-show friendship. Here’s what she learned from it all.

Need a bit of help navigating this crazy world? Married At First Sight “survivor” Lucinda Light has written a book that might just be useful. Ahead of its release, she shares five life tips she learned from the reality TV blockbuster.

I have always prided myself on being a woman who embraces life wholeheartedly. A speaker/creative by trade, a lover of love in all its messy, beautiful forms, and someone who walks barefoot at inappropriate times – but nothing could have prepared me for watching myself fall in love (or at least try to) on national television.

When I said yes to Married At First Sight, I thought I was saying yes to an adventure, a love story, a grand experiment of the heart. And while I did get all of that, I also got something far more unexpected: a big, unflinching, high-definition mirror that forced me to see myself in ways I never had. Sometimes, it made me question everything.

But I learned to love that woman on the screen – here’s how:

KO the cringe … that’s one of Lucinda Light’s tips.

Radical Self-Acceptance

If you watched me on MAFS Season 11, you’d know that my hands never stop moving and flapping when I talk. Watching it back, I had a moment of sheer embarrassment: Do I always do that? Is it too much? Am I too much? And then I thought: Too much for whom? I kept reminding myself to embrace my eccentricity. I’m equal parts grounded and calm. These hands have blessed marriages, held grieving friends, wiped away tears of joy. They are an extension of me. Why would I ever want to shrink them – or myself?

So, I decided to own it. To own all of me. Because life is meant to be lived, fully and unapologetically.

Love Yourself Through the Cringe

There were moments watching the show where I had to pause, take a deep breath, and remind myself that self-love isn’t just for the times when we feel radiant and wise. It’s for the awkward pauses, the nervous giggles, the moments where you think, why did I say that? Or the moments where you catch yourself gossiping and letting integrity slip.

Resilience isn’t about pretending those moments don’t exist – it’s about embracing them, learning from them, then moving on.

LUCINDA AND TIM: What happened after MAFS

Didn’t work out … Lucinda’s TV ‘marriage’ to Timothy Smith failed; and while they left the show as friends, there was a later estrangement.

Stay Open (Even When It’s Scary)

One of the hardest parts of MAFS wasn’t just being vulnerable with my partner – it was being vulnerable in front of the world (the show sold to over 100 countries). Falling for someone, navigating differences, and getting your heart bruised publicly is a next-level vulnerable adventure. I’m so grateful for it.

And here’s what I’ve learned: closing off to love, to possibility – because there’s a chance of pain – is a far greater loss than the heartbreak itself. Love is worth the risk. Always.

Courage Over Comfort

This theme of embracing all of who we are has followed me beyond MAFS. I’ve stepped into the world of keynote speaking, and it has been one of the most inspiring initiations of my life.

Standing up in front of a room full of powerhouse women in business on International Women’s Day was nothing short of exhilarating. Speaking about courage, self-expression, and taking up space felt like the ultimate full-circle moment. Because that’s what I had to do on MAFS – choose courage over comfort, over and over again.

Here’s what I shared with them: fortune favours the brave. We all have choices. The most powerful thing we can do is trust our gut.

Shine on, Lucinda … her new book Shine Your Light.

You Are Allowed To Take Up Space

Watching yourself on TV can feel confronting. But what I realised is this: I like the woman I saw on that screen. She is warm. She is deeply feeling. She is a little eccentric. She laughs loudly. She cares – sometimes puts her foot in it. But she is real. And real is something I will never apologise for being.

Shine Your Lightby Lucinda Light will be published by HarperCollins on April 2. Do you agree with Lucinda? Tell us at THE SUNDAY BOOK CLUB on Facebook

Originally published as Learning to love again after Married At First Sight starts with yourself, says Lucinda Light