Gold Coast University Hospital Nurse shares gutwrenching open letter on Covid-19 pandemic

As the Covid pandemic reaches its first peak on the Gold Coast, frontline health workers are working 12-hour shifts in a zombie-like state as they care for people gasping for air and close to death - now one nurse has shared her heartwrenching story.

AS the Covid pandemic reaches its first peak on the Gold Coast, frontline health workers are working 12-hour shifts in a zombie-like state as they care for people gasping for air and close to death.

A Gold Coast University Hospital nurse says while support was overwhelming at the beginning of the pandemic, it’s now fallen away. Nurses don’t even have access to rapid antigen tests to ensure their families remain safe.

Face masks have torn flesh from their faces and they often have to sleep in their cars before driving home after work because they’re beyond exhausted.

She has shared her experience in the hope that frontline health workers are once again taken under the wings of those who can share a little generosity. Here is her message...

A line of people waiting to get a Covid test at Gold Coast University Hospital. Picture: NIGEL HALLETT

DEAR GOLD COASTERS

Working as a healthcare worker over the last two years of the Covid-19 pandemic has shown both of the best and worst of people, the strength, the fear and the vulnerability of humanity. I’ve had a drink thrown at me and had abuse hurled while in my nursing uniform, but also received hand-drawn cards with words of encouragement from schoolchildren and thank you’s from strangers on the street.

Over these years I’ve worked in fever clinics, a ward treating Covid patients, the accident and emergency department and hotel quarantine.

We have nursed the very sick, the dying, those that are frightened, and yet others who while struggling to breathe, still declare Covid a hoax.

I have held the hand of a dying person, stroking their head as they struggled to breathe with no family there to hold their hand. I’ve watched the wide-eyed, panicked expression of fear on patients who were critically unwell, wondering if they would see their families again.

Doses of the Covid-19 vaccine are seen at Gold Coast University Hospital on February 22, 2021 in Southport, Australia. (Photo by Nigel Hallett-Pool/Getty Images)

WE HAVE BEEN FORGOTTEN

At the beginning, as the cases of the new mystery illness which was Covid-19 started to rise, the community and government rallied behind us, we were offered so much support.

With time, most of that has fallen away and many of us feel we have been forgotten, right when we need it the most. As we near the peak of case numbers and our beds are full of the very sick, what we are experiencing daily in our job is like nothing I’ve seen in over a decade in healthcare.

Nurse-to-patient ratios have been lifted. Staff are burned out physically, emotionally and mentally; zombies, exhausted in every way a person can be.

I recently saw a pre-pandemic photograph of myself and the change is remarkable. I look a constant state of tired and my hair is ripped from the face mask elastic. I have lingering red pressure marks from the mask lining that digs into my nose and cheekbones. My skin breaks out in acne from wearing face coverings most days of the week.

Ambulances lined up at the Gold Coast University Hospital.

QUIET FEARS WARDS WILL BE OVERWHELMED

We work up to 12-hour shifts on nothing but coffee, with little time for breaks or meals. We are constantly understaffed and know that calling in sick or taking leave would leave our colleagues and friends carrying even more of the burden of pressure. Some staff are so tired after shifts that they have to sleep before they can drive home. Staff across the hospital have caught Covid and taken it home to their families.

I was unknowingly exposed to Covid in the workplace and soon after spent time with elderly relatives, one who was undergoing treatment for cancer. When I received news my results were positive, my first thought was for their safety and the potential danger I had put them in. The guilt of this is a heavy weight to carry at a time when you’re overwhelmed with sickness yourself. My family tested positive soon after.

We as healthcare workers can be tested, but rapid tests for the families that we put at risk are impossible to get. There is no special treatment despite us working frontline in the most at-risk jobs.

There is quiet fear that our wards will become overwhelmed with the sick and with staff unwell and absent, there will continue to be a strain on staff numbers.

HOPE FOR THE BEST, PREPARE FOR WORST

Then there’s concern about having enough adequately trained staff to deal with the complex respiratory illness which is Covid-19, with patients that deteriorate quickly and unexpectedly. But we keep going and hope for the best while we prepare for the worst.

What the future brings, we don’t know either. We like everyone else, have watched the news evolve on television and social media and have experienced the feelings that go with it.

The helplessness of watching life as we know it change – fear, anxiety, anger, fatigue and indifference. It has been difficult to read social media comments, the angry and uneducated opinions, the conspiracy theories and the anti-vaxxer propaganda.

My friends remind me that the actions of others aren’t personal, but they feel very personal.

The choices of these people impact our safety and wellbeing as health workers, those of our families and the members of our community.

I think about aged and vulnerable patients whose lives will be forever impacted by those who made the choice not to vaccinate. Those who chose ‘me’ rather than ‘we’.

A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

I see those who won’t wear masks and refuse to vaccinate who add to the pain of those we care for and the people who love them. What has been the light in the darkness is the strong bond of the nurses and doctors who have worked through the hard days as a team have kept us going.

There comes a time as a nurse where everyday life and work can seep together and you don’t know where one part of you ends and another begins. With a 24-hour news cycle and sickness all around you, it can be hard to switch off when your shift is over.

Despite being burned out and tired, they have showed up, kept their sense of humour and remained steadfast and committed to caring for people with a smile, professionalism and kindness.

This pandemic has shown the world the worth of our health care professionals, even when most have no idea of the tireless hard work that happens behind our ward doors.

If you know a health care worker, a doctor, nurse, paramedic, support services staff, aged care or disability support, teachers, police officers or other essential workers.

Reach out to offer words of encouragement or an act of kindness and ask if they’re okay - because now is a tough time to be on the frontline.

And a little kindness is never wasted.

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